The Fish and the Mob
by ravenromance27
Summary: AU. Sawada Tsunayoshi finally achieved a childhood wish: a normal school life. He is attending university, living on his own and free from the pressure of parents and peers. All that is about to change when he takes a trip for school and ends up being kidnapped, rescued, forced to learn poker and defend the company he keeps. Seriously, has mediocrity ever been so complicated? FINIS
1. Phone Call with a Side of Death

**Authors Note:**

KHR is NOT mine. There. I reminded myself.

This story just popped out of a random idea of Tsuna having been detained by the mob for having a suspicious looking entourage and making him rationalize all their accusations. I don't really know what I was thinking when I was writing it—it's just the dialogue seemed really amusing to me. I'm sorry if it seems cracky and all that. Indulge me, please. I'm letting off steam from stress and it really was quite amusing imagining it being played in front of me.

Ok. SO time for disclaimers or warnings or whatever purpose this clarification serves. this is AU. Obviously. And the situation is simple. Tsunayoshi is not the heir to the Vongola—well—at least not that he is aware of. He is a simple student attending university when an opportunity to come to Italy landed quite literally on his lap. Some of the characters will act the same, some might not and others I have no idea how they'd react at all.

* * *

 **THE FISH AND THE MOB**

 _Day One:_

 **Just a Friendly Phone call with a Side of Death**

 _Good judgment comes from experience; and experience,_

 _Well, that comes from bad judgment._

 _\- Anonymous_

* * *

Good ole Murphy. Never ceases to amaze. And to render people speechless. And leave each and everyone he ever touched in a towering helpless-and for some-near chaotic, homicidal mess.

Clarification is necessary to be sure-but as Tsuna recalled his current situation it might be seen as not necessarily that bad. But we digress. An explanation, as previously stated, is necessary so let us set the stage, pull back the curtain and bring our intrepid protagonist and his merry band of miscast, as well as you, dear unfortunate reader back to the beginning or as close to it as Tsunayoshi's memory is able.

The last nine and a half months of his existence has been utterly blissful. He should've known on hindsight that nothing ever comes for free. Well, not as long as Murphy's Law plays poker with Karma's bitch.

And all it took for his life to turn upside down was three day and three simple, harmless things.

Three days. Three things. _**A phone call. A plane ride. And a poker game.**_

Are you paying attention? Good. Hold on. Take a deep breath. Here we go.

* * *

Eleven months ago he moved out of his childhood home, changed his address, learned how to live on his own, and even secured a semi-reliable means of income and spent most of the week attending classes in a school where for the first time in his life he finally achieved his goal of being invisible.

 _ **Yeah, you heard it right—INVISIBLE.**_

That, right there, has been his goal since elementary school and his one burning desire for most of his middle school and most of his high school years. Not one to aim for fame or god even infamy. Because seriously what would he do with either of those things? No, his goal was and is mediocrity. _Normalcy in all its beautiful, gracious subtleness and originality._ He yearned and burned with the idea of being just like everyone else, of disappearing within the welcoming arms of normality and blessed ordinariness.

You would think that with such a frankly simple-minded wish, he didn't have to do anything spectacularly complicated to achieve it. No, as far as wishes go, his wouldn't even register in the scale of impossibility. But the facts were these—fate or whatever or whoever it is that controlled the flow and ebb of mankind's life felt like pulling a fast one and made him Target Number One. They attached a big-ass bulls-eye on his ass and never even sent him a text or an email to inform him of the fact. They just sounded the hunting trumpet and let the hounds of hell loose. Or in this particular case—fate put him on the Murphy's Law Express with a side-trip to the Seven Levels of Hell. NO, not _just_ the seventh—not even just _one_ level of hell. _All_ of them. _Really_. And it all began on the last day his first year in university officially ended and summer break finally began.

* * *

 **DAY 1**

The building Sawada Tsunayoshi chose as his personal abode for his final years of his schooling looked like any well-kept mansion found anywhere else in the town of Namimori. Seven-storey's high, red bricks and black mullioned windows that looked out unto an immaculately kept garden that's been moved, swept and trimmed to within an inch of its verdant leafy life—a constant, if harmless reminder to Tsuna of the neurotic tendencies of his kind, if utterly eccentric land lord.

"Oi! Watch out! Delivery coming through! Good evening Nii-san!"

The sweet, lilting voice called out cheerily behind him and he immediately plastered himself against the nearest wall, watching in bemusement as a small, delicate looking girl, fourteen years old, pig-tailed and undeniably graceful as she navigated the narrow steps and careened into the hallway to make her daily delivery of ramen to their shared landlord.

"Evening I-pin. Making a delivery-" he took a peek at his watch, and saw that it was ten minutes to seven "-at this hour?"

"Yes, Nii-san. Kawahira-ojisan called the shop and made Taichou promise to send a delivery even if it was bit late."

"I'd say it is—it's nearly seven! Way past delivery time, I think for you. And a tad late for ramen."

"Kawahira-ojisan wants it for dinner every night this week. Ohhh! I have to hurry or the noodles will get soggy again! See you later!"

With an amused shake of his head, Tsuna hoofed up to his fourth floor apartment. The sound of the lock engaging behind him seemed to trigger an unspoken hint to his mind and he could feel his entire body sagging in relief. He noted absently the feel of his backpack's strap sliding from his shoulders down his upper arms, catching brief against the inner curves of his elbow before slithering down to fall on his entryway floor with a quiet thump. He toed off his trainers, and shed the light jacket he has taken to wearing to ward off the expected chill inside his many classrooms.

It was the last day of his first year in University and things have been going surprisingly well. No one has thumped him against the lockers and he has yet to earn a degrading and infinitely traumatic, psychologically demeaning and dispossessing moniker. All in all, it was, thus far, the best week of his academic career. It should, by all rights, make him ridiculously happy and in many ways, he is. He just considers it amusing that a week without insult or injury could simultaneously make him happy and really wary at the same time. If he didn't know any better, he would think he was catching the paranoia that infected one of his closest friends.

 **Right. Just what I need...my university life to be safe and normal and I'm cracking at the seams.**

With a rueful smile and a shake of his head, he walked towards his tiny kitchen, filled the kettle and set it on the stove to boil. He rummaged into the cupboards for the box of pasta he shoved there during his first shopping trip of the month and tried to remember if he had enough tomatoes to make a halfway decent marinara sauce. Though raised in a fairly traditional Japanese household, his parents particularly enjoyed Italian cuisine and it has to his friends lasting amusement, been an oddly amusing factoid about his otherwise nondescript personality.

The kettle just boiled when his attention was caught by the faint chimes of his phone. Turning the stove off and hoping whoever called wouldn't delay him long enough to make him reheat his water; he swiped his mobile from his desk and chirped a brief hello. The voice on the other end put paid to his plans for dinner. With a resigned sigh, he tucked the pasta back into the cupboards, reached out instead for the box of tea bags and a clean cup. He tucked the phone between his shoulders, murmuring appropriately at certain points as his hands busied themselves preparing his tea. He was about to take a careful sip of the scalding brew when his consciousness caught the tail-end of his caller's rant.

"I— _what_? No mom, I'm fine. I told you its okay. The move wasn't so bad and I had some help. You gave me money for the movers remember? And it wasn't like I moved to another town—I barely moved ten miles away from our old house!"

" _ **I know, but I shouldn't have let your—"**_

"Mom, for the last time, I'm telling you that it's okay for you to stay with him. You missed him something fierce when you were apart and I'm fine on my own."

" _ **But I feel like I abandoned you, my only child! What kind of mother does that make me now, tell me?"**_

Tsuna resisted the urge to bang his head at his mother's unnatural need to turn everything into a tragic drama. He adored the woman—like no one else on God's green earth but there are days he wonders why he was the way he is considering his parents.

"The kind that believes in her child's independence," he murmured soothingly, hoping his tone would calm his usually unflappable mother. "Mom, I'm nearly eighteen, I'm not a little kid anymore. It's not like I'm completely helpless—I can certainly take care of myself for a couple of years—and I'll be doing that anyways when I graduate from University and go out into the big bad world. Trust me, you did not abandon me. I am not feeling abandoned, at all. I feel empowered."

" _ **Now, dear, that's very kind of you to say, but still…"**_

Something about the tone of his mother's voice pinged a warning in him and he found himself gripping the phone a bit more tightly than he was a minute ago. Eyes narrowing, he found his gaze zeroing on the flyer that was currently pinned on his refrigerator door informing him of his schedule for the upcoming school trip.

"Mom, where is he?"

" _ **Who dear?"**_

"Mother, don't act coy with me. It doesn't become you. Where is that man and why isn't he around to—he's gone again isn't he?"

" _ **Tsuna, dear, it isn't like that—!"**_

"That utter bas—!"

" _ **Now, now dear,"**_ his mother admonished good-naturedly, **"** _ **don't you go accusing your father of haring off into the sunset again—it's never like what it seems. He's just very busy with the family business and I told you I don't like you calling him those terms. Your grandparents were properly married after all."**_

Tsunayoshi snorted indelicately and decided the tea wouldn't suffice in curving his growing temper. With a frown, he turned towards the pantry and retrieved a box of soy-rice crackers. Savagely crunching one between his teeth, he muttered on the phone once more, "The circumstance of his birth is the least of his failings Mom. Busy haring off is just right. _Family business_ —that's his usual excuse isn't it? I thought that's the reason you went with him—so that he could put _this_ family first for once. You missed him so badly, and the least that man could do is be around so that you won't have to."

He could hear his mother's sigh clearly over the phone lines.

" _ **He still has his work. Just because we're closer in location now, doesn't mean he stops doing whatever it was that kept him from us. At least now when it gets dark, I know he'll be coming home to me, and he has done that since I came here."**_

"Great. Bully for him then" he muttered huffily.

" _ **Oh baby, I wish you came with me. You could study here and we can be a family—a proper one—after all these years I really thought that we could be together. You could've come with us and studied here—!"**_

"Mom, look, I already caved in and agreed to go there for after University alright? In the meantime, I would like to enjoy the few years I have left just here in Namimori. I like it here—familiar turf and all that. And besides, I only have a few short years to get through my bachelor's degree. It'll be fine."

" _ **But I won't be there to take care of you—and what of your allowance? I don't think it's gonna be enough—!"**_

"Mom, I already have a part time job remember?" He moved away from the kitchen, balancing his cup, the packet of crackers and his mobile as he walked towards his tiny living room to flop gracelessly into his sofa, placing his cup on top of his tiny coffee table.

" _ **Oh that thing! You mean helping out at that diner?"**_

He could easily imagine his mother's dazed look at that information. Much as he loved her, his mother belonged to another era where a young man was not expected to earn a decent living serving like a common maid. "It's a proper job and Uncle allowed me to work so long as I make sure my grades are stable and the household chores are taken care of."

" _ **But what about company? I don't want you to be lonely—if you work all those hours however will you have time for your friends?"**_

He gave in to the urge to snort, "I'm not lonely at all, Mom! I'm not really the most extroverted person you know. Besides, I like my own company."

" _ **But darling, the thought of you going on about at all hours, and then coming home to a lonely house. It saddens me that's all."**_

"Mom, if I decided to go to a bigger university or move to another city that's the same kind of situation that I'll be facing. I don't really know why you're haranguing me about this right now when we already discussed this to death even before you left with that man."

" _ **Oh Tsunayoshi! Why do you do that? Why can't you call him by his proper name?"**_

Rolling his eyes once more at his mother's inability to reconcile with his 'amicable hatred' for the man that sired him, he rummaged through his bag and found his PDA, hoping to update his memos immediately after his mother finishes her weekly nagging. "His name is too pretentious for words. Just like the name he saddled me with."

" _ **Then call him by his proper title, dear."**_

"I already do Mom."

" _ **Tsunayoshi! A good son does not refer to the man who gave him life as 'That Man'!"**_

"Think of it as a term of endearment, Mother."

" _ **Tsunayoshi, so help me—!"**_

"Better ask That Man for help, Mother. I'm sure he could at least make himself useful in that sense. Good talking to you again—!"

" _ **Tsunayoshi—!"**_

"Love you too, Mom! Talk to you again soon, goodnight, bye!"

With a sigh, he pushed the end-call button and slumped against his sofa in utter relief. Lately, talking to his mother has become a constant battle—one that distresses them both and leaves the main culprit for them relatively unscathed. Scowling at the stray reminder of That Most Hateful of Entities, he rose from his seat intending to find something more sustaining than mere soy-rice crackers when he heard a curious noise from just outside his door.

Glancing at his clock, he noted that it had been nearly an hour since he walked through his door, his mother's phone call lasting far longer than he had anticipated. Debating whether it was prudent to open his door to all possible disasters, he reprimanded his morbid imagination and walked decisively towards the door, peering at the peephole for good measure.

Seeing no one standing on the other side of his door, he wondered once more at the noise, worried that it might be someone needing assistance. Arguing that there was a doorman after all in the building and that no one strange really could just waltz through their apartment complex, he gingerly slid the chain free and opened his door.

And that's when he saw IT.

* * *

 _On hindsight, Tsunayoshi reminded himself, he never should've listened to himself whenever logic entered the picture. He was no good with logic._

"Holy mother of—! What the—is that a—?!" He crouched down to touch the prone figure and was about to determine the presence of a pulse when a soft monotonous voice stopped him cold.

" _Stop._ I know you _can_ be dense but even you couldn't possibly be _that_ dense to mistake that for anything else than a dead body."

The bored monotone that spoke somewhere beside him barely registered and Tsuna found himself rising from his crouch, replying with a trembling voice even as his eyes never moved from the sight of a man of indeterminate age and race lying dead not two feet away from his front door

"I know what it is! I-i, just-how did it get there-oh god, this poor man!"

"What do you plan to do now?" A near-silent slurping sound followed the monotonous words.

"Plan?" He blinked nervously for a moment before raising his head to stare at the figure beside him. "Well, call the police, isn't that obvious? Surely someone is looking for this poor man?"

"I see." Another slurp. "And when they get here and consider you as a suspect?"

"Me?!"he quailed, eyes widening in faint alarm as his mind tried to process the meaning of the words that he just heard. "Why would the police think that? I'm the one who's going to call them!"

"Like no one has thought of that before. The body was found in your house. NO one is here to prove you didn't do it."

A quick flick of a thin, delicate looking wrist made a paper cup sail flawlessly towards an open trash bin and Tsunayoshi finally regained enough cognitive function to look at the figure that until that moment he barely paid any mind to.

"Well they have no proof that I did it either."

"Good. Keep that in mind if they ever push for a questioning. Remember what I told you."

"Of course I remember—what a minute—Lal! What are you doing here?"

"They sent me."

"They—my parents sent you?!"he screeched in disbelief. "How could they have sent you?! I spoke to my mother less than an hour ago! She couldn't have told you anything!" He turned towards the slight figure next to him and glared. "It wasn't my mother at all was it? It was That Man!"

Lal snorted indelicately. "Apparently. Who else would send me to this burg?"

He sneered in annoyance and gave out a dismissive wave, the body lying between them forgotten in the heat of his annoyance. "Well, congratulations then. You've seen me now. As soon as I-I deal w-with this, I will offer you dinner before you leave and then you can go back to wherever it is that you really intended to go when you're not pandering to That Man's meddlesome machinations."

"Who died and made you think you can talk to me like that you impertinent punk?"

"If I'm really lucky no one except this unfortunate man. If any of the gods out there really loved me, they would've done that to the idiot that fathered me but I doubt the gods would listen since my father probably hides better than the gods on a good day. It would take all the known gods far too many days to find the annoying twit."

As he stood there glaring at the woman who worked with his father and the corpse that lay forgotten like an unwanted witness to his latest parental-induced humiliation for what seemed like an interminable time, his inner self found the opportunity to run amok with a minor meltdown without any constraint.

"Oh great. This is just freaking great! Like I wasn't unfortunate enough to be born in an obscure town that seemed to suffer from an excess of incidents and oddities, oh no! I had to have a father that liked working everywhere else that's on the opposite hemisphere where his family could be found. And now, here I am—am I that ordinary? Of course not! Oh no—nothing so mundane for Sawada Tsunayoshi! Most people find dead animals on their stoop. I mustn't have anything as plebeian as that. _**NO!**_ _**Sawada Tsunayoshi is special! He's so freaking special that he finds dead bodies! Just friggin' awesome!"**_

"Do you know you're saying all of that aloud?"

Gasping Tsuna turned towards his unwanted guest—the live one, not the dead one—and blinked. He stared at Lal once more and blinked again. "NO, I didn't. Thank you for telling me."

At that Tsunayoshi allowed himself to give in to temptation and banged his head repeatedly against his door, hoping for a concussion at least, or even temporary amnesia. If he was really, _really_ lucky, maybe he could induce enough brain trauma to forget e _verything_.

He stared at the dead body dumped on his front door like some macabre delivery from hell and wondered for the hundredth time if he wasn't cursed. Surely no one suffers from the kind of bad luck that seemed to follow him like a bad smell that simply won't quit.

 _ **Because seriously—why him?**_

 _He wasn't a bad person. His mother wouldn't have been able to live with herself if she raised an evil spawn. And That Man wasn't imaginative enough to be evil—neglectful and absent-minded yes, flaky as hell, definitely—but evil, no._

 _And it wasn't like he was all that special in the extend family or friends department. It's like fate had an abacus in hand 24-7 that constantly monitors the check and balance in the life of one Sawada Tsunayoshi. For every 'normal' friend he could gain, fate would throw him a wrench and send him someone equally 'maddening'._

At least that's how he reasons out the logic of having a godparent of a sort that pops in every once in a while to bring him presents and then proceed to make him suffer from some weird experiments and an old family friend that you want to run away from except this one has a criminally good homing beacon that's worse than the latest GPS imaginable.

"Come on, I'll treat you to dinner."

She pulled him away from his door and walked him towards the apartment's sole elevator. It didn't even surprise him to see that it was being manned by a dark-suited figure. He was about to step into the elevator carriage when he remembered the cold body lying across his welcome mat.

"What about the—the poor man on my stoop?"

"We'll take care of it. Don't worry."

"That just made me worry more. Lal-san, exactly what is it that you do for That Man?"

"You really don't want to know."

"I was afraid you were going to say that, Lal-san."

"Tsunayoshi, this hasn't been a pleasant evening is it?"

He stared at the woman who was punching out the button for the ground floor and cocked an eyebrow, muttering snarkily, "What do you think?"

"I try not to assume things; quickest way to prove one's an ass."

Tsuna found himself nodding as he leaned against the cool steel walls of the elevator carriage. "I've had better."


	2. Flights of Fancy

**Authors Note:**

Still not mine. Riding on the surge of inspiration before like a temperamental diva my Muse shuts up again and leaves me high and dry. Thanks a million to those that gave this story a chance. Words are not enough but then again—they never are.

* * *

 **THE FISH AND THE MOB**

 _Day Two:_

 **Flights of Fancy**

 _When things go wrong, don't go with them._

 _\- Anonymous_

* * *

On this day, one Tsunayoshi Sawada, seventeen years, ten months, three weeks, five days and eighteen hours and twenty-seven minutes old began his day like any other—with him waking up later than he intended and rushing through his preparations not unlike like he has done every single day since moving into his new home. He stole a look at the clock by his bedside table, noted that it was now nine in the evening and realizing he had less than half an hour before he became officially late for his first day of vacation.

Now, one could point out that there's no schedule to be maintained in a vacation. It's an entire span of ten weeks devoted, ideally, for relaxation and that would've been true for anyone else but poor beleaguered Tsunayoshi. It was after all, his decision that led to his and his friends' vacation time pretty being much booked.

Prodded and finally guilt-tripped by his friends, threatened by other members of his class and finally beseeched into agreeing by his puppy-eyed, lip-quivering, teary Professor, Tsuna found himself agreeing to spending a month in Italy as part of his course immersion program. Now, here he was, glad that he had already packed his clothing especially after returning late from dinner he shared with his father's subordinate late last night. He spent the morning picking up his professor's additional charge, making sure that everything was in order and double checking that their flight has been confirmed and that the boarding passes would be waiting for them at the correct gate.

Taking the quickest shower in history, he dressed in his most comfortable pair of jeans, pulling on a white shirt and dark blue vest. Grabbing his backpack and his jacket, he checked his phone for any last minute call and finding none; he pocketed his keys, pulled his luggage out on the hallway and locked his apartment. He already left instructions with his landlord. Another look at his watch made him curse out loud and there he was running pell-mell down the flight of stairs in his apartment building in the middle of the night in the vain hopes that their designated ride hadn't left him behind yet. Gasping and panting at the sight of the awaiting van, he gave a final push, and jumped gratefully into the waiting arms of his friends and classmates, laughing uproariously, sped their way to the airport to catch their flight to the land of gladiators, olive oil, aqueducts and glorious food.

As he settled on his seat to catch his breath, he looked at the brightly lit buildings that sped past them on their way to the airport and wished silently for a good time during his first ever school adventure.

 _After all, lots of people go to school trips with their classmates and teachers. What could possibly go wrong with him going to one?_

 _ **Famous last words.**_

* * *

A sharp wolf whistle that cut across the muted sounds of the taxing planes and people that usually characterized a busy airport made Tsuna nearly jump in surprise, reminding him that he wasn't alone and that he has been staring, gawking really, for nearly two minutes.

"Well,well…Uma-sensei really likes pulling all the stops. That is one fine ride. Talk about flying in style. I could get use to this kind of treatment."

Tsunayoshi stared at his smirking, indigo-haired classmate who was eying their 'ride' with an unholy gleam in his unusual heterochromic eyes before turning back towards the sleek black and gold lines of the plane that loomed over his head and couldn't help but silently agree.

"Are we sure we have the right flight? Or even the right plane?" Tsuna looked over the gleaming body of metal and machinery and wondered if his professor missed something else in the email he had sent to them.

 _ **Surely, he didn't mean to take us to Italy in this?**_

By this, Tsunayoshi meant the gleaming ebony and gold aircraft that seemed to him like it was thrumming in motion even while it was just waiting—gleaming under the bright lights on the private strip of tarmac where they had been directed. The plane seemed to be purring even while completely immobile, like a top-level predator that only needed a split-second warning before taking flight.

 _ **The plane looked like something celebrities and those gazillionaire-trend setters seem to ride like in magazines and those foreign spy films.**_

Mukuro, his indigo-haired classmate let loose another impressed whistle as he noted the stylized image of a horse rearing on two legs painted on the tail of the sleek aircraft.

"Uma-sensei must be really loaded. That must be his family icon."

The words called to Tsunayoshi's memories and reminded him that for all that he has known the man for nearly ten months, none of them really knew much about them. The image of the rearing horse reminded him of the first time he saw it and also the first time he met the man they call Uma-sensei.

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _It happened one afternoon while walking home from class with his friends and discussing their first week's experience when Tsuna, chanced a glance upon the notice boards and noted that they were already posted with the electives available for that semester. After a lengthy argument on the pros and cons of every offering within their free period, Tsuna and his friends agreed to take on a foreign language class as part of his elective course._

 _In a moment of pique and for no other reason other than thinking he found the idea of getting some form of revenge on his happily unaware and perpetually absent father who kept muttering in the said language whenever he would pick up his phone, Tsuna and his friends signed up for the introductory Italian class that's going to be taught by a native-speaker._

 _The professor, a fairly young looking blonde with cheerful brown eyes and an easy amiable nature, had apparently lost his way around the campus on his first day and finally, after wandering for hours, spotted Tsuna and his friends and decided to ask for much needed directions. Well, that was his intention or so he cheerfully recalls._

 _What happened next was a little more painful than that since in his haste, the harried professor rushed to speak with them and missed the awaiting steps. Afflicted with a crippling sense of mercy and empathy, Tsunayoshi rushed to the man's aid bringing Hayato and Takeshi with him. They rushed to stop the man from what could only be a painful accident and ended up in a pile with the unfortunate Tsunayoshi occupying the bottom of the pile up. And though later on, it would be Tsunayoshi himself who would need to be pulled to his feet requiring the assistance of his aforementioned friends to accomplish the task, he however, bestowed upon the painfully disheveled and thoroughly embarrassed foreign young man who looked like he was about to cry a smile of such brilliance that it effectively dosed the man with enough good cheer to power a small house. The young professor was finally placated by the oddest combination of Hayato's statistical pronouncements, Takeshi's good-natured cheer and Tsunayoshi's heartfelt assurance that there was no harm done before they could collectively untangle themselves and make their way to their first class._

 _It was there that they met the rest of their would-be classmates and was surprised that it was comprised of people that they knew one way or another. The class itself was fairly small, with less than fifteen in attendance. There was Tsunayoshi, his friend since middle school Takeshi, and his next door neighbor Hayato. There was also three upper classmen in class that included a fairly familiar looking blonde that lived near Yamamoto's house and was part of the University Varsity team. There was also a pair of twins that were familiar in the sense that they acted a short skit in front of the school assembly program. There was also the young woman who was majoring in Math that worked in the same diner as Tsuna and as well as a pair of Engineering majors who were rumored to be right-geniuses though they were thought to be rather odd too. The most surprising members of the class though were a pair as notorious as the very institution of Namimori U itself._

 _The class in itself was interesting and quite interactive. Their professor introduced himself but with his foreign sounding name, he ended up being dubbed an affectionate 'Uma-sensei' and the man was delighted with it. Grateful and perhaps not a little infatuated by then with Tsuna or so his friends liked to tease him—that or the man really was as flaky as hell—the young professor extended an invitation for Tsuna and his classmates to his home in Italy as part of their language immersion class and insisted that they come especially with the semester's end just looming at the end of the week. He cheerful noted that it would be a great idea for all of them to experience what a simple Italian life could offer._

 _And it was after meeting this Italian professor in the most incongruous of ways that led to what would become the second most traumatizing predicament in his life._

 _End Flashback_

* * *

Tsuna shook his head and glanced down at the stack of boarding passes clutched in his left hand before taking another surreptitious look at their apparent mode of transport.

 _ **I really couldn't figure out that man. What could he possibly be thinking booking their flight in this? How in the world is this supposed to be simple? Or even normal?**_

His inner monologue was interrupted by the weight of a wiry and warm arm landing gently across his shoulder making his head turn towards a handsome face that boasted of bright hazel eyes and beaming at him with a thousand-watt smile that's brilliant enough to be on some billboard somewhere advertising the many merits of fluoride and oral hygiene.

Yamamoto Takeshi, childhood friend, resident star of the university baseball team and voted the most popular guy in their entire school both through middle school and high school. He and his father lived in the second storey of the house across from Tsuna's apartment was located. The house is also where Yamamoto's fathers' sushi restaurant could be found on the first level.

"Well…we can't say the guy didn't appreciate us Tsuna. And by that, I totally mean you." Takeshi clapped a large, well-callused hand against his shoulder, before giving his autumn locks a friendly ruffle. He took another look at the gleaming mode of transport in front of them and gave a smug chuckle, "I mean, _look at it_ —it's something else, right? It's a private jet or something isn't it?"

An annoyed snort behind him made him turn enough to witness the aggravated look that flashed across the face of another one of his classmate and neighbor. Silver-haired, teal-eyed Gokudera Hayato, member of the Honor Society, taking up double degrees in both engineering and chemistry, he was known in the university for two things—his fiery temper and even more fiery experiments. Well, three things if you count the fact that other than being Tsuna's friend, he was also Yamamoto Takeshi's self-proclaimed mortal rival.

They met when Tsunayoshi moved into his apartment and though their initial interactions weren't amicable in the least, it quickly changed when Tsunayoshi rescued Hayato from one of his fiery, failed experiments and proceeded to read him the riot act even as he fluttered and fed him with endless cups of tea and cookies. It was then that Gokudera declared that Tsuna must've been an angel sent down by his dearly departed mother, begged Tsuna to call him Hayato and proclaimed that they were going to be friends for life. Once he met Yamamoto, a love-hate rivalry was immediately declared and the three of them has been inseparable since.

"Do you think something that small could be used for commercial flights, you baseball idiot? Is the size of the stadium in which you play the only reference to size and dimension you could fathom?"

The glare on Hayato's face would've intimidated a lesser man and certainly hindered any further contact from any other individual after being subjected to the intensity of his scorn but to the eternal frustration and Tsuna's continued chagrin and amusement, any and all insults he directed towards the baseball player had the tendency to slide off much like rainwater against taro leaves.

"Hayato—" Tsuna pleaded but like always, his words were buried under the onslaught of the warring pair's voices.

"Well I've never flown before 'Dera so one plane is much the same as any other to me. Though I agree it's on the small side, ain't it?" The grin that Yamamoto directed towards Gokudera fell sadly short as the light-haired young man scowled at him.

"Well…size is relative. That's a Gulfstream G450. Fairly good sized-plane as far as private—and haven't I told you a million times already not to call me that!"

"Hayato-! Takeshi-! I told you two to stop bickering before you bother other people!"

"Don't mind it too much Boss, no one will mind—it's just us right? No one—!"

"Maa-maa…come on Tsuna,'Dera doesn't mean anything by it. Don't worry—"

Yamamoto raised both his hand in a placating manner, a grin plastered on his lips, and words ready to spring out when an even louder voice, clearly heard even amidst the ambient noise of a relatively active tarmac called out exuberantly, "Calm down, extreme young brothers! It's summer vacation and it's the time to loosen up a little, in the extreme!"

The booming voice of one Sasagawa Ryohei effectively silenced the two bickering friends. He effectively silenced a mile-wide radius from where they were standing and it was Tsuna could do to not slam his head the mobile phone clutched in his fist as he waited on the freezing tarmac.

" _Good God_ …what was I thinking? Someone remind me again, why did I agree to this in the first place?"

"Don't sweat it Tsuna-nii. My brother is a just trying to make things easier. Don't sweat the little things."

The sweet, oddly adult–sounding statement reminded him that along with the over-the-top transport, the vague emails detailing their supposed itinerary, their flaky professor chose to leave ahead of them, saying he would be personally rolling out the welcome rug for them in Italy and would Tsuna be so kind as to bring his brother with him when they go to Italy because otherwise he would have to leave Italy to return to Namimori to fetch him and then just turn back again.

Staring at the grinning, candy-smeared eight-year old clinging trustingly to his hand, Tsunayoshi couldn't help but run his fingers through the adorable curls the young boy sported before sighing loudly and murmuring, "I've been whining. Sorry, Lambo-chan."

"No sweat."

"Tsunayoshi."

The cold chilling monotone that uttered his name felt like it was coming from the deepest, most unforgiving depths of Dante's Inferno and it burned a searing path down Tsuna's spine. Even while he grasped at Lambo's hand, he could feel something inside of him suddenly coming awake at the sheer awareness of that voice. Even seated on one of the plush seats on the nearby waiting area, nearly ten feet away from where he stood, Hibari's voice had the authority to cut through the throng with surgical precision.

 _ **Oh God I take it back. I so take it back. I didn't mean anything by it! It was just an expression of—!**_

"Are you listening to me, Omnivore?"

He nearly dropped the phone in his haste to answer, "Hiee! Yes, Hibari-senpai! I'm so sorry Hibari-senpai! Of course!"

"Stop sputtering like a loon."

Tsuna was sure his tongue was bleeding like crazy as he bit it in a frenzied attempt to silence the flow of babbling words that seemed to come out of him every time he grew flustered or was anywhere near the taciturn young man. Hibari Kyouya was not a man given to too many acts of patience or mercy. He has a reputation forged in blood and only a fool would ignore his words. He gave Hibari a nod and waited for him to speak once more.

"I will not spend another minute waiting here in idleness surrounded by dull, annoying herbivores. Deal with this matter or else."

As he stood there, gaping at the laser-like intensity of Hibari Kyouya's unusual grayish-purple gaze as he leveled on him his fiercest glare, he wondered if it was possible for him to sink into the tarmac and vanish from that demanding gaze. He gulped loudly and mustered what little remained of his courage to speak when the cheerful voice of Yamamoto pitched in.

"Don't worry Hibari-senpai! We'll take care of it! Come on 'Dera, let's go talk with those crew people."

"YOU BLOODY IDIOT I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!"

Yamamoto then proceeded to drag a loudly protesting Gokudera by the hand even as the cheerfully ebullient blonde that was giving them thumbs up like an approving older sibling.

"What an extremely beautiful display of extreme friendship! Go on and do your thing together in the extreme!"

Yamamoto tossed another grin towards the older classmate's way even as his other hand snagged the man with them,"Yeah, yeah, come on. Sasagawa-senpai, can you help us talk to these airport people, please?"

"Hey! If you're dragging him, why do you have to drag me along with you?"

"Haven't you heard the saying the more the messier?"

"That's "the more, the merrier" you idiot!"

"Sounds pretty much the same to me. Now come on, no dawdling. Hibari-senpai already looks like he's about the break out the tonfas."

"And why should I care if he does that?"Gokudera growled as he tried futilely to break Yamamoto's grip on his arm.

"Well, Tsuna is standing quite close to him right now, right? He'll be hit for sure."

The statement had the effect of making the young man's eyes to widen in worry, and he hurried his footsteps until this time around he was the one doing the dragging, "Hurry up you dolt! What are you babbling there for? Boss Tsuna is in danger!"

Tsunayoshi found the fingers of his hands reaching up towards his face once more, his right hand clutching desperately at his mobile as he automatically rubbed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his index and thumb, while his left hand rubbed the tension he could feel developing on his nape. A sliver of awareness or alarm trickled down his spine and he resisted the urge to shiver.

 _Oh boy…I have a very bad feeling this is going to be a very long day. Very bad feeling. Why did I agree to this again? I could've just stayed in bed._

It wasn't often that Tsunayoshi's instinct flared up but when it did, it was remarkably accurate. In fact, every single instance when this particular sense triggered, disaster followed.

As he looked once more at the black and gold streamlined body of the private jet, he debated the merit of continuing on but couldn't really make himself ruin the rest of his friends' vacation. He wondered, one last time, why he was feeling that Italy wouldn't exactly be a relaxing trip for him.

If only he knew the extent of his prediction, he never would've taken a single step towards that plane. But alas, Sawada Tsunayoshi did, and the unlikely dominos of events really did come true.

* * *

The flight in itself was unremarkable. The flight crew was jovial and solicitous in serving them their drinks and offering pillows so they could comfortably rest for the duration of their 12-hour long flight. After a night spend in blissful silence ensured by the presence ( _ **read: DEATH THREAT via MIDFLIGHT Ejection without any chance of having a parachute**_ ) of one Hibari Kyouya, Tsunayoshi woke in a relatively good mood further enhanced by the delicious Continental breakfast served by the planes first-class crew.

As the sign for the seatbelt finally signaled off and disembarking procedures where undertaken, Tsunayoshi and his friends took their first breath of the warm breeze of the Italian morning. They took directions from the crew and found themselves being ushered towards a small collection of older men holding on to white pieces of A4 cards bearing the sign _**'Tsuna's Party'**_ on them.

Smiling at the welcoming party and heartened to discover that they wouldn't have to navigate the madness of a foreign airport to find their destination, Tsuna held out a hand towards the oldest of the men, a tall thin man with shaggy if neatly cut hair, black-framed glasses and a competent air around him that led their welcoming party and murmured a polite greeting in Japanese, temporarily forgetting to inquire whether the man understood him.

"Hello, I am Sawada Tsunayoshi and these are my friends. Thank you so much for meeting us."

"It is our pleasure to come and meet with you Sawada-sama."

Tsuna beamed in pleasure when he realized the older man spoke in Japanese, chagrined to realize that he automatically spoke in his native tongue without consideration whether the other party would understand him. He promptly executed a deep bow and apologized, this time speaking in his slightly accented Italian, hoping against hope that he doesn't inadvertently offend anyone by mistranslating anything.

"I am very sorry for inconveniencing you! And very thankful that you understand Japanese so well. I-I wasn't certain— that is, I wasn't very sure that anyone here would despite the fact that Dino assured me that there were others that could. Did he send you to meet with us?"

"Yes. You may call me Romario, I'll be your liaison while you're here. At least when Boss—I mean, your Professor becomes unavailable. Do not worry so Sawada-sama, I can speak Japanese competently since I am part of his usual entourage when he goes to Japan extensively."

Tsuna smiled at the man, inquiring softly, "You go with him to Japan—oh! I remember you now! I am so sorry I haven't—you accompanied him during some of our classes, didn't you? That was you, wasn't it Romario-san?"

The bespectacled older man nodded, smiling down at Tsuna with apparent fondness, "Indeed Sawada-sama. That was indeed me. I am honored that you remember me at all."

Tsuna couldn't help but laugh as their welcoming party started walking towards the exit leading out of the private strip and towards doors that would lead them to the parking lot where their escort apparently waited.

"Well, Uma-sensei was certainly different whenever you were around. There were less—accidents, I suppose when you would come and visit us."

Romario gave Tsuna another assessing look and an approving nod, "I couldn't deny that. He is rather prone to chaos whenever we leave him to his own defenses. Alas, we have duties here at home that cannot be delayed by his frequent forays into his favorite town."

Tsuna gave a short, amused chuckle, "Especially when that town takes nearly fifteen hours to get to and requires a plane ride or two."

Romario gave a deferential nod, "Indeed. You have hit the nail on the head Sawada-sama. It is a minor inconvenience to be sure, but sometimes it is a significant one."

"Please, call me Tsuna, everyone else does and Sawada-sama seems too officious when you are certainly older than I am Romario-san. Please, Romario-san, just Tsuna."

"As you wish. Tsuna-san then."

Tsuna smiled and happily followed the men that were ushering them towards a convoy of waiting cars. Something nagged at him by their meeting party's haste to sweep them away from the airport but since he wasn't quite aware of what was routine in an Italian airport, so he really couldn't tell anything out of the ordinary.

There was a sense of unease that persisted at the back of his mind and he tried determinedly to shake it off before it could ruin his and everyone else's holiday. The only thing he managed to do was ensure that everyone was comfortably seated and accounted for. With the rest of classmates distributed into two other vehicles, Tsuna gratefully slid into the last car that waited on the curb. He was just belting on the car's restraints when he noticed that unlike the previous two cars, he was the sole passenger in this vehicle apart from the two black suited men that sat in front. Curious but not alarmed, he gave them a soft greeting in Italian and when they barely gave him a nod, settled in to viewing comfortably the passing scenery as they pulled away from the busy airport.

After nearly half an hour of travel, the car pulled into the driveway of a grand hotel building. When the valet opened his door, Tsuna had to consciously remind himself that it would be extremely unseemly to gawk like a fool just because he was so in awe of such luxurious surroundings. The lush building made it such an impact to Tsuna that it took him a few precious minutes to realize that the car that brought him was the only one there and that seemingly, none of the others have arrived yet.

A quick inquiry with the man that accompanied him in the car and Tsuna was given the assurance that they will be along shortly and that he should wait for them inside so that he could do so in comfort.

Reticent though he was, Tsuna couldn't find any viable reason to protest and so he allowed himself to be docilely directed.

 _I hope I'm not lost. This place isn't someplace my parents could afford unless they're selling me. Why in the hell do I feel like I'm in some kind of danger? Am I being kidnapped? No, of course not! Gods I really am getting paranoid—when I get back I am so killing that man._

The man who accompanied him in the car led him firmly inside, speaking with a man who clearly worked for the hotel for a few moments before gesturing for Tsuna to follow him. Mystified and a bit daunted, Tsuna however found no other option but to follow the older man, still unsure of this unusual turn of events but as there were no calls or clarifications from their professor nor any contradictions or alarms raised by any of the other hotel denizens, he meekly followed his impromptu guide and hoped that some kind of explanation or the rest of his classmates would come soon. A long elevator ride up into what he suspected was the penthouse suite and the man gestured for him to proceed ahead.

"We are here Sawada-sama."

"Please, just Tsuna. You don't have to call me that—!"

The man that walked alongside him simply gave a small smile and nodded towards a pair of huge, double doors. His companions remained outside the lavishly appointed room, while he politely ordered him to take a seat, settle in and reassured Tsuna that refreshments will be delivered soon. Tsuna thanked him immediately and asked once again when their professor and the rest of his classmates would be arriving.

"Sir, might I inquire as to when exactly our professor is coming? It's just that he never really explained that we would be stopping in this hotel or any hotel for that matter. We were told that we would be staying over at our professor's home."

"There has been a bit of change in plans Sawada-sama. I am sure that soon all will be made clear."

A vague smile and another murmur of polite but even more unclear platitude that didn't answer anything came from the man before he headed towards the door that led to the room and turned to give Tsuna another short bow.

"Oh please, call me Tsunayoshi or Sawada-san. 'Sama' is a bit much, sir."

The man gave Tsuna a searching look and seemingly satisfied, smiled at him and inclined his head one final time before ushering himself out.

"That is very kind of you, Sawada-sama. He will be waiting for you inside the inner rooms. Enjoy your stay and don't worry—you will survive this."

Tsuna blinked in bewilderment, turning inquiring eyes towards the quickly disappearing figure of his black-clad escort as he muttered in confusion, "Survive? What does that mean?"

His questions however went unanswered as another set of doors behind them swung open and revealed the occupants within. There inside the lavishly appointed room, surrounded by six distinguished-looking, people dressed in what clearly looked like a military-inspired uniform standing guard was a man with dark wild hair with streaks of red tied with a feather and a bloodthirsty smile on his sharp aquiline face, his darker, piercing eyes never leaving Tsuna as he lounged in insolent grace at a chair that closely resembled a throne as a white lion purred beneath his large beringed hand.

" _Finally, you fucking trash, how long were you going to make me wait?"_


	3. Rendezvous with Kidnappers and Coppers

**Authors Note:**

Juices still flowing and nope KHR is still not mine. Not that it ever will but who knows right? Hope springs eternal and such so on with our story. Some of the dialogues are internal, some are not really internal—more like thoughts you speak out without conscious intent. Go figure it out. It might be more fun that way. Oh by the way—if I mangle the Italian I do apologize. I am relying on good ole' google-translate to do that since I don't speak a single Italian word much to my ever shameful regret.

Ciao!

 _(okay, so I guess I know one word. Or two.)_

* * *

 **The Fish and The Mob**

 _Day 2 – Redux:_

 _ **Rendezvous with Kidnappers and Coppers**_

 _God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face._

 _\- Anonymous_

* * *

" _Oh great. Someone really did kidnap me and sold me to slavery to some shady character."_

"Kid! Did you hear the boss?"

" _I should've known. I just knew something bad was going to happen to me, and now look at this mess."_

"Hey, kid! Shit, is something wrong with this brat?"

" _Really Fate? Why…why me? And here I thought finding a dead man was the worst. Why couldn't it have been another dead body? I could deal with that—I think I could deal with it now."_

"Did he just say he found a dead body? What the fuck—where did they find this kid? I thought he was hidden in some fucking burg in the middle of nowhere?"

" _I really do have the worst luck ever! But what else is new. This just sucks."_

"Fuck, His highness thinks the boss broke him. His highness told you not to let the boss speak. He scared the little piece of shit into incoherence."

"Fuck that, when the hell did you even learn the word 'incoherence' you prick? Do you even know what that means?"

"His highness knows language better than you common trash. Of course, his highness would know what incoherence means."

" **VOI! SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IDIOTS!"**

All but one of the men inside the room jumped in alarm and surprise at the loud voice that broke through the spirited ramblings of the gathered occupants of the room and Tsuna found himself reduced to his oft used expression.

"Hiee!"he yelped, clutching at his jacket in alarm, utterly unaware that he has been muttering to himself aloud, effectively ignoring the strangers that are now staring at him in unholy glee. His eyes, now wide and wary stared at the assembled men that surrounded him and he couldn't help but gulp in nervousness.

One of the men, a tall, spiky haired figure with a sneer on his face glared at him before muttering dismissively, "Fucking brat just fucking squeaked. What a fucking sissy!"

Tsuna was too scared to be affronted. Especially when one of them, a thin, lanky man with a shaved head and unusually colorful accessories came close and lifted a hand to caress his hair, smiling at him with alarming glee. "Ohhhh! He is so adorable! Can we keep him boss? Can we? We could have such fun with him I'm sure!"

A small, sullen looking figure clad incongruously in a robe that sat in one of the cushy chairs surrounding the room, spoke in a clear masculine monotone, unusual piercing purple eyes staring at Tsuna appraisingly, his face giving away none of this thoughts.

"Sit down, Sawada. This would go a lot quicker if you allow us to talk before you ask any annoying questions. If you do that, we will set you back on your way. Do you understand?"

Tsuna swallowed with difficulty before nodding. Whatever was happening here, this small man might be the sanest person here and he would listen to his instructions before any more madness persist or the huge man that first spoke to him remembered that he has a lion near him and decides Tsuna is convenient food for his vicious pet.

The small man spoke once more, gesturing towards a slim lithe looking figure with a cascade of long silver locks. The man was delicately featured and if not for the predatory gleam in his eyes could've easily been mistaken for a female. When he finally spoke, however, that illusion was well and truly shattered. His voice was set on only one volume—jet engine loud.

"LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKING PUNK!"

 _ **Ah…**_ Tsuna's mind reminded him, _**so he was the one who called a halt to the argument a while back. Very useful that voice. Now if only we weren't closed in on such a small space. That voice could be heard across two football fields. My god.**_

"VOI!YOU'RE DRIFTING OFF AGAIN YOU FUCKING PRICK! DO YOU WANT ME TO SKEWER YOUR SKINNY DEAF ASS?"

"Maybe if you weren't trying to deafen the kid, he would pay you more attention Commander."

"I AM NOT FUCKING TRYING TO MAKE HIM FUCKING DEAF! HE'S JUST FUCKING ANNOYING BECAUSE HE WON'T FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!"

" _Enough."_

The silence that descended was like a vacuum suddenly sucked out all the sound in the suite. Nothing moved. Tsuna doubted anyone even breathed. The same voice that greeted him was even more powerful now that his mind was able to focus. Unfortunately, with his mind now concentrating and no longer just reacting, his imagination, always rampant and vivid, considered the spike of adrenaline in his blood as convenient fodder to imprint the man's imposing height, muscled form and wild hair into his permanent memory alongside the sound of the deep, growling glide of that voice.

"You are Tsunayoshi Sawada, are you not?"

Tsuna noted the voice and then registered that the man was speaking to him in clear and perfectly unaccented Japanese. For a moment, a part of Tsuna wondered in amusement why he bothered learning Italian and going to Italy when every person he has met thus far spoke his native tongue. His pause caused the man to clear his throat threateningly and Tsuna hurried to reply. His intent was to be as placating and conciliatory as possible so that he could keep his life and sanity intact for as long as possible. What came out, however, was something else.

"Well, who else do you think I am? I mean do you people normally pick up strangers in the airport on the misguided assumption you'll get the right person off the bat?"

 _ **Shit! What the hell was that? What the hell am I saying?! I am dead! DEAD! I am going to DIE!**_

If the silence before was sudden, now it was palpable. The very air was tinged with the kind of tension one can only imagine when facing a life or death situation. Certainly, in some part of Tsuna's brain, his sense of self-preservation is now was beating the ever-loving crap of whatever part of him lost control and turned on AUTO-PILOT.

"Did the kid just—!"

"Did he fucking sassed the Boss?"

"Fucking brat must have balls of titanium."

Tsuna's eyes never strayed from the dark gaze that seemed to stab straight to him—looking at him with eyes more intense than any he would normally see, though strangely, this tall intimidating man didn't truly scare Tsuna. The man was daunting—there was no denying that. But Tsuna has had the misfortune of knowing a lot of people with an even more menacing gaze and that one didn't back down and didn't need a bloody entourage to put the fear of God into Tsuna. Two of those weren't even men.

The man lifted a glass of whisky to him in a clear toast, "You have guts, you fucking brat. I'll give you that."

"Thank you."

 _ **Shut up! Shut up, you!**_

"Hah…as amusing as this is, I have other things to take care of today, so let's get things moving along now, shall we?"

"As you wish."

 _ **Will someone shoot me already! What the hell is wrong with me!**_

"Do you know why you were fucking brought here Tsunayoshi Sawada? I assume you have some fucking questions lingering in that tiny brain of yours."

"Of course. I mean, I don't even know you. I certainly don't know what you want from me or why you even know my name."

The man gave a rumbling chuckle and Tsuna found something inside of him tighten in wariness. Whatever it is that's coming—he could feel that it wouldn't be good.

"Of course I know your fucking name. Especially considering the fucking current situation, I would be a fucking fool not to."

Tsuna blinked. He wondered if he was mishearing things but a quick look around the room told him that he hasn't suffered from some kind of auditory hallucination.

"I'm sorry, but what situation?"he asked quietly.

"This situation. It doesn't matter what you fucking know or understand—the only thing that bears any fucking weight here is this—I want you out of fucking Italy as soon as possible and I don't want you to fucking come back. Ever." The end was clearly an unmistakable threat. It couldn't have been more obvious had the man set it on neon lights in the middle of the Coliseum for half the country to see. Tsuna frowned in consternation and was about to reply heated when something really odd happened. His mobile rang.

The sound was loud and shatteringly real in a room that took on a surreal quality for Tsuna, yanking him to the here and now and settling the feeling of imbalance that had gripped him since arriving in the hotel.

"Aren't you going to answer that fucking brat?"

Somehow the bored tone annoyed Tsuna that he allowed exasperation to color his voice. The entire situation was ridiculous and his stomach took the time to remind him that he hasn't had anything yet other than the sketchy breakfast he took on the plane.

"I wasn't aware that I was allowed to."

"Just answer the fucking phone. You have a fucking annoying ring tone for fuck's sake."

"I hope you don't kiss your mother with that mouth." Tsuna muttered under his breath but the man must have ears like a bath because stalked towards Tsuna snarling like his pet.

"What the FUCK did you say to me, you fucking brat?"

Tsuna gave an annoyed snort, eyes firmly on his phone that he finally wrangled out of his pockets and was viciously stabbing with his fingers, trying his hardest to remember his password that, like any other day of the week, escapes him for some reason, his mind no longer paying any attention to his surrounding as his disgust with the man's penchant for cursing so often reaches critical level. "I said" S _TAB_. "—will you please stop—" _STAB_ "—cursing like some drunken sailor—" _STAB_ "—that refuses to learn anything that's worth saying. Of all the vocabulary in the world—is that the only thing you've—!" Tsuna's air was suddenly cut off and he wasn't completely surprised when he was hauled to his feet when the larger man suddenly lunged towards him, pinning him against one of the silk-covered walls.

" _You fucking brat_ ," he hissed. " _For once in my fucking life, I considered diplomacy and you keep fucking pushing the line. I gave you more fucking passes today than I have given in the last fucking decade and if you sass me one more time I am—"_

Tsuna however was done being flaky and lost. He lifted his head and pinned the man that was holding him off the ground with his gaze and allowed him to see the banked fire smoldering within his russet eyes. Hearing the intake of breath and the feeling the grip on his shirt tightening even more, he made sure the rest of the room caught a glance from his eyes before returning his gaze to the now clearly wary red ones staring at him in question.

" **Put me down. Now."**

The voice that spoke was not like his usual diffident voice but Tsuna was beyond caring. Though he tries his hardest, there are times when something inside him just snaps and someone else comes to play. When the man settled him back to his feet and stared down at him in clear fascination, Tsuna couldn't help but sigh.

 _ **This is getting out of hand. Time to consider options and escape plans.**_

"Look—!"

"Xanxus."

Tsuna's voice stuttered to a stop as he stared at the tall, imposing man looming over him. He blinked and looked and blinked again. Titling his head, he gazed at the man for another minute, trying to figure out what changed and why he was now volunteering his name when suddenly clicked and Tsuna couldn't help but blush.

 _ **The man was holding his hands! How the hell did he—! Why the hell is he—!**_

"Boss?"

"Don't fucking interrupt me Fucking Afro" Xanxus growled menacingly, glaring at the man briefly before turning back to stare at Tsuna. "I'm doing something important."

"Er…"

"My name. Its Xanxus."came the soft mutter.

Tsuna nodded, giving the man a short nod and a small smile, "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Xanxus-san. It wasn't very fair that you knew my name and I couldn't say yours. Thank you for telling me."

"You're welcome. You can just call me Xanxus."he mumbled gruffly.

"Oh, well…that's very nice of you." Tsuna looked towards the others in the room and wondered why they were all gawping, slack-jawed and pale. "Ah…Xanxus…?"

"Yes Tsunayoshi?"

He blushed at the sound of his name being said with such a deep voice and chagrined; he raised a hand in embarrassment, "Oh! Please, you can just call me Tsuna. You allowed me to call you by your name after all. Is Xanxus your first or last name?"

"My first name."

"Then you really must call me Tsuna."

"I prefer Tsunayoshi."

The man gave Tsuna a sharp smile and Tsuna convinced himself that it wasn't very much like a top predator leering at an available prey. He turned towards the others, hoping that now that the proverbial ice was broken, they would introduce themselves and they could settle for some kind of illuminating conversation that would finally explain his situation when he noticed they were still gawking at them.

"Xanxus, why are your friends staring at me like that?"

Xanxus frowned. "Who? Who's fucking staring at you?"

"Your friends?" He gestured towards the still gaping men behind them. "They're staring at us and I don't know why."

"Do you want me to make them stop?"

"Well, of course, but most of all, I want you to explain to me what am I doing here and why did you kidnap me—!"

"This isn't a kidnapping."

"Xanxus! What do you think you did? You took me from my friends and classmates! I don't know what you think this is but clearly its kidnapping—and you need to return me to my friends!"

"This isn't a fucking kidnapping Tsunayoshi—for one thing we haven't asked for a ransom, clearly since its fucking obvious that you couldn't afford to pay us even if we had half a mind to do it."

The slim, sullen young man that spoke before muttered thoughtfully, "I don't know Boss. Someone might cough up some dough. He was brought here on that fucking Bronco's private jet after all."

Xanxus glowered menacingly at the robed figure, "When I need your fucking opinion Mamon, I will fucking ask for it you, fucking money-hungry fucker. Now shut the fuck up, all of you!"

Everyone took a step back at the snarling man, well except Tsuna who was locked in place because moving was a terrible idea for any prey and Tsuna is an excellent student of predator-prey relations. He has spent a lot of years perfecting his technique for staying under a predator's radar.

Tension was mounting yet again and Tsuna was afraid things might come to a blow when the silver-haired man with a voice that certainly had its own decibel category glided closer to Xanxus and delivered a thump against the man's upper arms, frowning up at him like an annoyed sibling that's been pushed and prodded into playing referee. It was a surreal vision and Tsuna wondered if they've somehow managed to drug him without him consciously ingesting anything.

 _ **This is just too weird for words. Maybe I'm just dreaming this. Yeah, that's it. I'm still on the plane sleeping. In a few minutes I'll wake up and all this madness would be nothing more than a really, really bad dream.**_

"VOI FUCKING BOSS, STOP FUCKING AROUND!"

"You Fucking long-haired shark, I told you to learn how to talk below a fucking bellow or else I will rip out your fucking vocal cords and you can fucking learn sign language you fucking shark."

The silver-haired man stared at Xanxus before grunting in exasperation, rubbing a hand across his beautiful face and then finally—finally, growling out his words.

"Fine. The boys got a call down stairs. Some fucking suit placed a call for the fucking brat. His passport pinged and now there are wolves hovering in the lobby, so you either spit it out to the fucking brat or we take him with us and you two can continue making fucking cow eyes at one another until you run out of fucking things to say, _capiche_?"

Xanxus glared at his second in command, "You fucking shark. You should've known about the fucking ping—how the fuck did they even know he's here?"

"They saw him on the CCTV outside the motel." The spiky haired, bearded man replied diffidently, staring at his boss with an adoring gaze. "If Boss wants it, Levi will deal with it."

"We can't go on offing wolves in the middle of the day just because we're bored Levi-chan!"

"Lussuria shut the fuck up and don't call me that!"

"His highness agrees, let us fillet some wolves. His highness is bored."

The slim young man stood up and started walking towards Xanxus. He gave Tsuna a calculating look before shaking his head to the silver haired man.

"Cut your losses Boss. Squalo is right. If the Old Man finds out—it will complicate things. We don't have any more time."

"The Old Man already found out."

* * *

Tsuna, Xanxus and everyone else in the room turned towards the newest figure in the room and was greeted with the sight of a slightly rumpled looking bearded man with a world-weary look in his eyes and a smoking cigarette precariously perched between his lips.

Blowing out an impressive ring of smoke, the man's deep voice came out smooth and authoritative despite his less than impressive sartorial look which seemed to vacillate between an overworked scientist and slightly inebriated doctor.

"Shamal. What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Cleaning up the mess you made you fucking brats. Now, hand over the kid and skedaddle outta here before I have to call reinforcements and report you to the Old Man."

Squalo flashed the man a very believable shark like sneer—full of razor sharp white teeth, "You think you're so fucking clever, you fucking quack. Coming in here to throw the Old Man's weight around like it's yours?"

Tsuna watched the exchange like an avid tennis player viewing Wimbledon before common sense prevailed and he seized upon the idea of sliding out of the room and gaining his freedom before the snarling predators that shanghaied him remembers his presence.

Thanking his lack of presence for the nth time, he carefully and methodically walked backwards, moving slowly and simply until his back brushed against a set of doors. He wasn't quite sure, but he had a hunch it would lead him out. Trusting his instincts he carefully pulled one of the doors, thanking his stars and the staff at the hotel for maintaining well-oiled hinges that swung silently as a whisper.

The moment the door swung close in front of him, Tsuna bolted, eyes looking desperately for the elevator that would lead him farther away from the penthouse. He managed to get into the private elevator that led to the penthouse and had just pressed the button for the ground floor when he heard voices coming from the suite. The doors of the elevator were just closing when Xanxus and the rest of his gang burst out of the doors. Tsuna gave a weak wave and prayed that he would have enough time before they catch up to him.

* * *

Reaching the lobby, Tsuna looked frantically about as he dialed a familiar number on his phone hoping against hope that his professor would pick up. He listened to the phone ringing once, twice before a longed for click and he heard his professor's cheerful voice.

" _ **Hello?"**_

"Hello, this is Tsunayoshi Sawada, may I speak with Dino Cavallone please?"

" _ **Tsuna! Where are you? Did you miss your flight?"**_

"What are you talking about? No, I'm here! I was with the guys that you sent to pick us up but somehow I got separated and I ended up in this hotel."

 _ **"Hotel? What are you doing in a hotel? Guys that picked you up? Tsuna, I've been waiting for you! My guys already arrived here at the mansion with the rest of your classmates and you're the only one who hasn't arrived yet. Where the hell are you? Your friends are climbing up the walls and I don't know what happened to you!"**_

"Look, I got into one of the cars, but I guess it was driven by someone else—someone not from the group you sent. They brought me to the—" Tsuna cast a quick look and saw a desk with brochures on it and seized it quickly, reading the name aloud, "Regina Baglioni and there were these bunch of weird guys that wanted to talk to me about something—!"

 _ **"Can you tell me anything about the men who got you?"**_

"Well they're all weirdly dressed—like military but not really since they have all these weird hairstyles and one of them was even wearing a robe. I didn't catch all their names but their leader—I think his name was Xanxus and—!"

 _ **"XANXUS! Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?"**_

"No, I'm fine—please don't shout its making me even more nervous and I don't want them to catch me—see I ran out when they got distracted and—!"

 _ **"You got kidnapped by XANXUS and the bloody Varia and you still managed to escape?"**_

"Yes, but listen—!"

Tsuna was about to say more when his arm was gripped by a large hand and fearing the worst, he turned to look at his captor only to be greeted by the sight of an older man wearing a dark suit and trench coat. He swallowed nervously and muttered into the phone,

"Uma-sensei, there are some men here and—"

A polite soft voice spoke to him in Italian and it took Tsuna a moment to respond, gathering his thoughts and blurting out a soft inquiring sound.

" _Perdono che stai Signore Tsunayoshi Sawada?"_

Pardon, are you Mr. Tsunayoshi Sawada

"Uhmm…"

" _Il mio nome è Ispettore Valerio Molina. Vengo dalla polizia. Puoi venire con me, per favore?"_

My name is Detective Inspector Valerio Molina. I come from the police. Can you come with me please?

" _Polizia?"_

Police?

" _Si."_

Yes.

" _Avete qualche Ispettore carta d'identità?"_

Do you have any ID Inspector?

" _Certamente. E 'questo per la vostra soddisfazione, Signore"_

Of course. Is this to your satisfaction, Signore?

" _Si Grazie. È fantastico! Mi scuso per l'inconveniente."_

Yes, thank you. That's great! I apologize for the inconvenience.

" _Sei contento di vedere la polizia, Signore?"_

You are happy to see the police, Signore?

" _Sì certamente! Vedete ho paura che sto terribilmente perso e ho bisogno di trovare la mia strada di nuovo al mio professore. Lui è al telefono e mi chiedo se lui si può dire dove può venirmi a prender?"_

Yes, of course! You see I'm afraid I'm terribly lost and I need to find my way back to my professor. He's on the phone and I'm wondering if you can tell him where he can pick me up?"

"Il tuo professore?"

Your professor?

"Si." Tsuna gladly handed over the phone and watched as the Inspector spoke with his professor. He heard the man mention his name and spoke a few more words before the man paled and something in his voice quavered in clear surprise. An exchange or two later, the man handed Tsuna his phone back and dropped his arm, gesturing solicitously towards the hotel exit and an awaiting car.

" _Si prega di venire con me Signore. Il tuo professore-potrebbe prendervi, non appena egli è in grado"_

After you Signore. Your—professor—would pick you up as soon as he is able.

" _Grazie mille. Questo è un sollievo sapere."_

Thank you so much. That's such a relief to know."

" _Mi aspetto così."_

I expect so.

As the car sped along, Tsuna found himself asking, _"Ispettore, se posso chiedere, perché stavi cercando me?"_ Inspector, if I might ask—why were you looking for me?

The man smiled and something about it made every hair in Tsuna's body stand on end. Whatever the man would say next, he was certain he wouldn't like it.

" _Oh, è semplice, Signore. Abbiamo un mandato d'arresto."_

Oh, that's simple, Signore. We have a warrant for your arrest."

" **W-WHAT!?"**


	4. Incarcerations, Interrogations

**Authors Note:**

Yeah, yeah the status quo is maintained like an OCD secret that just keeps on reminding you to do something you'd rather not. Fine, fine, neither the Tuna nor the rest of them belongs to me. Not that it belongs to anyone else except Akira Amano-sensei. All that madness is his.

Well here's a funny, little conundrum—what the hell do I do with my other fics when my fickle-minded, annoying-as-fschk Muse refuses to yield even an ounce of cohesion or ideas except for this one? It's really crazy. Still, I suppose I should be thankful whatever creative juices I can claim to have still flows even if it has been reduced to an annoying trickle directed by the whims of fate.

Again—my eternal thanks to those that continue to read the madness that passes for creativity for someone like me. Hope you'll still enjoy this insanity.

* * *

 **The Fish and The Mob**

 _Day 2—STILL_ :

 _ **Incarcerations, Interrogations and Incendiary Devices**_

 _I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe._

 _~Anonymous_

* * *

 _He really should've known better than to get into a car being driven by strangers. Definitely something he needs to work on since it was positively Pavlovian of him to simply slide into a car whenever the door was held open for him. Yet another thing in his upbringing he could blame on_ _ **That man**_ _and that_ _ **Other Man**_ _in his life._

Tsuna wondered if the situation he was currently having a bizarre side effect of cabin pressure that was not discussed sometime between boarding the plane and after disembarking from it. Some part of him wishes desperately for everything that has happened to him to be something like a really, really vivid dream he could awaken from but he's been banged and chased and ran like crazy and he hasn't woken up yet so that chances of his situation being a dream was pretty nil.

 _Perhaps was this some kind of drug-induced nightmare that those weirdoes with Xanxus filtered in the air in the Penthouse and was now still affecting him?_

The idea would have had merit if he was aware of any unusual smells or scents. But since he never ingested anything and no one can douse an entire hotel without someone noticing something—or at least he hopes no one can—he seriously doesn't want to contemplate that this madness was something that was par for the course for anyone travelling to Italy because if that was the case, he would be willing to write to whoever was in charge so that no one comes to this madcap country ever again.

 _He can just see it now…this entire country in on the conspiracy to drive tourists into being so crazy they actually think they had fun! The sheer genius—the daring—the sheer improbability—! No—no…that's just insane. I need to get a hold of myself before I get into even bigger trouble. Just calm down and think! Think!_

As he stumbled out of the car and followed the brisk movement of one Detective Inspector Molina, Tsuna tried desperately to remember everything that has occurred in the last 24-hours—well aware that he had spent 12-odd hours of them in a plane hurtling twenty-thousand feet over the Atlantic Ocean—that could possibly explain the frankly Twilight-Zone like series of truly unfortunate events that has been plaguing him since landing on Italian soil.

"What do you mean you have a warrant? I haven't done anything illegal!"he nearly screeched. He grabbed hold of every last piece of his quickly deteriorating patience and composure and made the inspector look at him in the eye as he strode into what he assumed was the man's police station.

Tsuna wasn't prepared for the dark look in the young inspector's dark blue gaze. For the first time, Tsuna noted the police officer that took him from the hotel where Xanxus's cronies brought him. The man was tall, lithe and blessed with the ruddy complexion that seemed to characterize men from the Mediterranean climes.

"Are you sure about _that_ Signore?"Inspector Molina chuckled at him, eyeing his reactions speculatively.

Tsunayoshi nearly quailed but found that for some reason today wasn't like his usual timid days. Perhaps, given the set of right circumstances—his being an excellent example of such circumstance—that righteous fury and outright indignation could at times punch through even the most paralyzing of fears and insecurities.

"Of course I am! Sir, with all due respect, how do you think I could've done something that would merit an arrest warrant when I haven't even been in your country for—"a quick glance at his watch and a few seconds of calculations and he sputtered, "—for more than eighteen hours?! Surely you can see how preposterous this claim is!"

"Oh but it isn't preposterous at all." the young Inspector grinned at him cunningly before leaving him standing there in the midst of the police station, gaping like a floundered fish.

* * *

After nearly half an hour of travelling into yet another strange place and watching as the young Inspector speak to a host of other individuals, many of whom were gesturing wildly and directing men to and fro, foreign voices raised in excitement and relentless questions and his own demands for explanations being completely ignored and dismissed out of hand, Tsunayoshi finally found himself separated from everyone else and deposited into an empty room with no windows and a single huge mirror, with only a steaming cup of coffee for company and managing the astounding state of being able to stare at him accusingly.

 _ **Oh great. An interrogation room. This is just great. Just what I needed. A trip down Alice's demented rabbit hole with a cup that gives me the willies. I didn't even know a cup can make someone feel guilty just by being there!**_

Sinking into what he was recognizing as the start of a fine and proper temper that few had ever seen or experience, tired as he was and hungry and annoyed at the turn that his longed for vacation devolved into, Tsunayoshi found himself in a rare antagonistic mood. When the figures of a taller, dark haired, scarred man and the younger, clean-shaven Inspector shuffled into the room wafting of cigarette smoke and each holding a cup of coffee Tsuna was ready to raise a little hell of his own.

One look at the aloof, closed-off face of the two policemen nearly made Tsuna see red but something about the pair's air—a discordant air reserve cooled his fraying temper just the tiniest bit and Tsuna resolved to try to be as patient as he can. Something tells him there was more going on behind the scenes than could be discerned from the vague, indistinct mutterings of those that surrounded him.

 _Surely these men are only doing his job, even if they made such a monumental mistake?_

The younger of the two gave him a perfunctory nod before settling down on the table across from Tsuna. When the two finally sat down, Tsuna allowed his mind to take control of himself and try to figure out as best as he could the mess that he inexplicably found himself in.

He didn't want any further mistakes occurring and though Uma-sensei assured him that his skills were surprisingly more than passable in the language he had just learned using ten months ago, Tsuna began his plan of attack by securing his one glaring weakness—the definitive language barrier.

"D-do you speak—Japanese? Inspector? Is there someone here who speaks Japanese?"

When the younger man simply blinked at him, Tsuna rubbed a hand across his face and muttered tiredly in his slow, deliberate Italian, "Translator? Please?" before reverting to his native Japanese, "I want a translator. I don't want any mistakes or misunderstandings occurring here while I can't even defend myself."

"I speak Japanese." A deep, rumbling voice replied. A quick glance informed Tsuna that it was the new man that spoke. The bear-like voice suited the older man and Tsuna found himself relaxing slightly in the man's less than reassuring visage. And this policeman, with his spiky hair, sharp angular face, cold fierce-looking slanted slate-grey eyes and scarred face was certainly not a figure you want confronting you in a dark alley or even in the safety of a police station with a battered table and four walls between you. There was a certain wolfish quality to the man that Tsuna wary but not afraid—telling him without words that this man could and is relentless in achieving his goals. Once he was on someone's trail, there would be no dissuading him, no way to make him turn away from the scent of the hunt.

For all intents and purposes, he should be completely petrified out of his mind by this man but Tsuna, however, never really felt any true fear except simple wariness in the face of a true predator. He felt and acknowledge a healthy guardedness over the man's motivation but caution was a long way from suspicion and _that_ he didn't feel, at least not yet.

This was not an isolated cause brought on by stress or excess of panic and while surely no one has ever made any cause to point it out, but the truth was Tsunayoshi found it remarkably easy to be at ease with even the most intimidating and scary-looking characters.

Most pegged it as a sure sign of Tsuna's weak mind—that he was too slow to note danger. Others, those that knew of him supposed that it was due to Tsuna's weak, submissive nature. Those that have met and truly known Tsuna understands that it was in his very nature never to judge too harshly or rashly and one or two knows without any doubt that Tsuna had a near-preternatural ability to sense a person's true nature.

No matter what else he had done or he was, the man sitting in front of him was not a danger to him—not yet, at least. His partner was somewhat the same, if a bit more aloof, his motivations a little more circumspect.

"You sir? Are you an interpreter?"

The man gave out a snort. "Interpreter? No. Don't worry though, I speak Japanese just fine."

Tsuna struggled with his composure, trying his best to not give in to his temper or his panic in the face of less than clear responses he has been getting. Taking a deep breath, he tried to wriggle some clarification once more, "If that's the case sir, can you tell me please why I've been brought here and what am I being charged with and can I get a phone call—!"

The man cut him off with dismissive wave of his hand. "Relax kid. We'll try and explain everything but for now, it would be best if you just settle down, alright?"

"If you say so, sir." Tsuna muttered dubiously. He inclined his head towards the man politely, asking, "May I have your name sir?"

The grin that the man sent his way was little more than baring his teeth but oddly enough, instead of scaring him, it only served to reassure Tsuna and he cocked a questioning eyebrow towards the still silent inspector until the man snorted and responded with a gruff reply. "Names Lancia. I work for Interpol. Organized crime division."

Tsuna blinked at the man and simply repeated, "Interpol? Organized Crime?"

Another cold slash of lips that he supposed the man thought of as charming was tossed his way but this time Tsuna felt no need to reassure himself. "Suppose you'll tell me you don't know what that is and you've never heard of organized crime?"

"No, I don't. Should I have?"he deadpanned.

"Depends." Inspector Lancia gave Tsuna an assessing look, noting his features with his sharp, cold eyes and seemed to make up his mind about something. He reached into his jacket's inner pocket and withdrew a small black notepad. "Now, tell me your particulars kid."

"Particulars?"

"Name, age, country of origin and reason for being in the country."

Tsuna sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and wishing for the nth time that he never agreed to go to this trip. He has always resisted his mother's insistence that they visit his father's ' _workplace_ ' and he could certainly find reasons aplenty now to support his reticence. He hasn't even been in Italy for a full day and he's already experience enough inconvenience and misery not to want to dare it again.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi. Seventeen and a half. Namimori Japan. Immersion study for Italian Elective class in University.

The two men exchanged a charge look before turning once more to the pensive looking Tsuna.

"Is that all?"

"What else am I supposed to say?"

Their assessing gaze on the short, autumn-haired youth never faltered, even when a knock came and a thin, nerdy looking man came in to bring what looked like an old fashioned reel-to-reel recording machine and laid it gently upon the table. The thin newcomer made his excuses and left as quietly as he came.

A moment or two passed and Tsuna was growing a tad concerned about the pairs' silence. As far as intimidation techniques are concerned, it was relatively passive and unobtrusive and one that Tsuna was unfortunately more than familiar with. Drawing upon his deep and oft-used well of patience, he initiated the conversation to get things moving along.

"Are you ready to tell me now what's happening here sir?"

"What do you think happened here, son?"

"I really don't have any idea except that this is certainly not what I intended when I planned to vacation in Italy sir."

"Well, what exactly was your idea when you came here? Perhaps you can give us some idea."

"Tsuna tried to hold on to his patience, arguing with himself that loosing it would probably detrimental to their case—whatever that case may be. For now, he needed to control his temper and see if he could resolve the issue before something _else_ could happen.

"Look, sir, I really am quite tired and my friends are probably getting scared and worried, so please, can you just tell me what this misunderstanding is all about and why in god's name you seem to think you can issue a warrant for me when I have never even been to your country before."

"Look here Mr. Sawada, I don't think you quite understand your situation here. You were, until Inspector Molina took custody of you, in a very precarious position. The men that we're there in the hotel are very dangerous. They are not the type you want knowing anything about you. You, sir, happen to be quite a person of interest to us, do you understand?"

"No, sir, I don't understand. I don't even understand what you mean calling me a person of interest! I assure you sir, I am not the least bit interesting. You can ask my entire middle school graduating class! And I still haven't been told anything that made sense since your partner there stole me from the hotel and brought me here."

"We didn't steal you away from anything or anyone son, Inspector Molina here rescued you from those criminals that were holding you hostage, remember? You should be thanking us."

"Begging your pardon then—I haven't been informed of anything significant or even sensible since you and your smirking, suit-wearing partner in crime _rescued_ me from the clutches of seemingly polite, though admittedly weirdly-clothed criminals pretending to be airport personnel who, you assured me were kidnappers—asking me about things I couldn't make heads or tails of. Now, I have answered your all questions—all of them—if you could please just answer mine and then allow me my one phone call so that I can ask someone I trust what the hell is going on here!"

"Now son—"

Tsuna's temper whipped out like a strike of fire and this time he didn't bother controlling it. He pinned the old policeman with a look with eyes that were no longer cool, harmless chocolate pools. He without even bothering to get up Tsuna loomed at the pair that seemed disconcerted to realize that it was possible for someone of less than impressive height to actually loom whilst in a seated position.

" _ **I am not nor have I ever been your son**_ , sir. I have _no_ intention—in this life or any other life for that matter—of being your son in any way, shape or fashion in the foreseeable future either. I already have a father and _trust me_ —right now I am actually coming quite close to missing the insufferable bastard. And as soon as I get my mother on the phone, I am making her drag his worthless hide over here so that he could do his job for once in his life and actually help me."

The younger of the two policemen cleared his throat loudly, desperate to dispel the tension that seemed to be crawling up his spine at the sight of the near-enraged younger man. He pulled out a cigarette, muttering at Tsuna the whole time he was getting it lighted, gazing at him with cold, calculating blue eyes.

"That's a rather odd sentiment for a son to say about his father."

His eyebrows cocked as his voice came slithering out in an annoyed huff, "Have you _**met**_ my father?"

Inspector Lancia gave a short chuckle before shaking his head. "I don't think I have had the pleasure."

"If you _haven't_ met him, trust me, it's your pleasure."

"That really is an odd way of referring to the man that sired you."

Tsuna really couldn't prevent the dismissive snort that came out of him, "Siring me happens to be the one reason I actually have to acknowledge his presence in my life. Barring the genetic contribution—no, I don't have any obligation to That Man. Now, if you won't answer any of my questions, I demand that you allow me to use my phone so that I can call someone for help."

"It's funny you should mention calling for someone since it was a phone call that brought you to our attention."

"What? A phone call made you issue a warrant of arrest? Is calling someone illegal here?"

"Don't be obtuse son. You sir, are but a small but very interesting cog in a bigger act we have been monitoring for some time now. A very interesting cog indeed."

"I-I don't understand what you mean. What do you mean interesting?"

Lancia rose from the table and pulled out a thick dossier from a chest of drawers that Tsuna failed to notice was even there. It was battered, dog-eared and clearly been through many, many hands. Lancia flipped it open and turned to a more recent page, as clearly noticeable by the crisp whiteness of the page and the relative incomplete notations.

"Approximately 48-hours ago we received a tip, a reliable tip that there was some suspicious activity occurring between certain members of an organization that Interpol has been monitoring for quite some time now."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"During this operation of ours, we intercepted a rather fascinating phone call. Snatches of conversations that led us to believe you might be a person of interest that's worth our time."

"I don't understand—you intercepted a call and you think somehow, I'm involved in your operation of some sort?"

"Perhaps this would convince you."

* * *

 *****RECORDING*****

 _ **[S1: I told you it's okay- I had some help-You gave me money]**_

 _S2: I shouldn't have let your—"_

 _ **[S1: I'm fine on my own…]**_

 _S2: I abandoned you_

 _ **[S1:I'm completely helpless—I can certainly take care of myself and I'll be doing that anyways-]**_

 _ **[-go out into the big bad world. Trust me. I feel empowered]**_

 _ **[-Where is he?]**_

 _S2: Who?_

 _ **[S1:Don't act coy with me]**_

 _ **[It doesn't become you. Where is that man?]**_

 _He's just very busy with the family business_

 _ **[S1: Family business—I thought that's the reason you went with him—**_

 _S2: He still has his work. He has done that since I came here_

 _ **[S1: I already agreed to go there. In the meantime, I would like to enjoy the few years I have left]**_

 _ **[-I like it here—familiar turf and all that. It'll be fine.]**_

 _ **[-I decided to go bigger or move to another city kind of situation that I'll be facing]**_

 _S2: Call him by his proper title_

 _ **[S1: I already do]**_

 _ **END OF RECORDING**_

* * *

Tsuna stared at the recording machine for what seemed like hours but logically it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. He was well aware that the two policemen are observing and cataloguing his reactions but for some reason he couldn't focus on their presence. The entirety of his focus was on the memory of the phone call that was just played for him and the deep-seated, gut-level sense of relief that swept past him upon realizing that their so-called evidence had nothing to do with the unfortunate package that was found on his stoop.

 _If they knew about that, I wouldn't be sitting here being played good cop bad cop by these two! If they knew of Lal's little clean-up job—I would be in jail circumstantial or otherwise! Wait—is this some kind of elaborate game where they let me think this is the issue before spring out the other one? What the hell am I suppose to do now? They monitored my phone call with my mother—wait a minute—! Why the hell are they monitoring my phone calls?! Or my mother's phone call?!_

Belatedly Tsuna snapped back into attention and this time he really allowed his temper to get the better of him. He was bellowing before he was even aware of it.

" **WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! HAVE YOU BEEN TAPPING MY PHONE? HOW DARE YOU!"**

"Son, I suggest to tune that dial on your temper a bit—"

"I just want to find out what the hell is going on around here! Don't you tell me to dial down anything Mister! I am not the one violating people's privacy and rights here!"

"After that—you can't still be seriously suggesting that you're innocent?!"Inspector Molina flared up in agitation, gesturing at the recording like it was all the proof he needed. Inspector Lancia was still staring at Tsuna with his cold gaze but there was a gleam of speculation in them—a sliver of interest that had he been paying attention would've sent an even stronger alarm through the young man.

Tsuna however was past caring, furious as he was for the violation of his privacy, panic and fear took a back seat as he railed against the two policemen, indifferent to the stares that they were generating from those viewing the interview from behind the two-way mirror.

"Well, it certainly wasn't in _my_ plans to be kidnapped, rescued, interrogated and detained illegally by a pair of suit-wearing Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum who apparently thinks it's okay for them to listen in and record a conversation between a son and his mother in a country a few hundred thousand miles away! I came here to rest and enjoy my last summer of freedom before I have to end up in some mediocre job in the middle of corporate nowhere— _I did not_ — **I repeat** —I did not come all the way here for anything more sinister than indulging on red wine and eating food with vast quantities of olive oil!" Now, for the love of heaven, someone tell me what's happening here or I swear to heaven I will find some way to make all of you miserable in the foreseeable future!"

Lancia steepled his fingers on his stomach and stared coldly at the clearly enraged young man, flicking a glance at his partner before asking nonchalantly, "You mentioned calling your father to help you out of here."

"What about it?" Tsuna snapped. "Are you going to monitor and record that too?"

"Maybe if you could tell us his name and his place of work—we can contact him for you."Inspector Molina suggested smoothly.

 _Too smoothly_ , Tsuna's inner alarm pinged. There was something deliberate in the man's offer. _Too bad for the clearly eager man, I would have to disappoint him_ Tsuna thought with more than a bit of smug satisfaction. He might not like his sire—but he doesn't intend to drag him into the madness this trip of his was fast becoming. _Self-preservation be damned, I am through played with by these clowns._

"If you'd have been paying attention Inspector, I did make mention that I will be contacting my mother so that she could call him since I have no idea what the man does or where he is at any given point."he retorted icily.

Lancia frowned at Tsuna and Inspector Molina tried wheedling the information once more, "You can hardly be telling the truth, son—you might not have a healthy relationship with your father but for you not to have an idea of his whereabouts or his job—that ludicrous!"

"That's why I asked if you've met the man. Look, Inspector—my relationship with my sire isn't just bad or unhealthy or whatever euphemism you wish to call it. Truth of the matter is, my relationship with the man is better called _nonexistent_. It has been that way since I was seven and a decade past that it's practically tradition for me not to know and for him not to care. The last conversation I remember having with my mother regarding my father's employment involved such romantic drivel as him going out into the wild blue yonder to find the stars. After that answer, tell me, would you ask your mother again?" he snarked at the two gaping policemen, satisfied in spite of himself, at the incredulous look marking their faces.

The two policemen glared at Tsuna as they wrote down something on their notepads furiously, glancing at their precious dossier, before snapping it closed and staring at Tsuna once more, clearing their throats, desperate to wrestle the conversation back into more manageable waters,

Tsuna could see their girding their loins for another attack when the same thin, nerdy looking man knocked and stuck his head into the room, glancing nervously at the two inspectors that pinned him with glares.

Gulping loudly enough for all four of them to hear, he spoke quickly, "Inspector Lancia sir—there's—there's a phone call for one Tsunayoshi Sawada coming in from line one. They said it's urgent."

Inspector Lancia's glare increased ten-fold while Inspector Molina merely grunted at the trembling man, muttering, "Officer, we are not the front desk of some posh hotel now are we, nor are you some kind of receptionist. Take care of the bloody call. We're busy!"

"S-s-sir—Detective Inspector sir—y-you don't understand—every line in the station has been tied up—this is the only call getting through."

Inspector Molina stood in a huff, slamming his hands on the table top, swirling to face the clearly frightened out of his mind rookie-Fine. I'll answer it. I'll give something to call for! Idiots! You, Mr. Sawada—wait here—we're not finished with you yet—!"

Whatever response Tsuna might have made then was drowned out by a sound that resembled nothing more than the hands of God coming down to smite those that displeased him.

 **BOOM!** **BOOM!** **BOOM!**

The explosion came without warning. It rocked and shook the small precinct to its very foundations but surprisingly didn't collapse it, making some part of Tsuna's brain not busy being shocked and worried wondered at the enduring strength of Roman architecture.

He was still grappling with his bearing when he felt strong firm hands gripping his arms and leading him out of the dusty, dark room where he was being held and into somewhere cool and dark. Coughing and gasping, he tried to marshal his composure and breathed deeply once the dust was left behind him. Taking a few grateful breath of cool, dust-free air, he squinted for a minute or two before gingerly opening his eyes fully and taking an assessment of his current situation.

When he saw figures clad in black, he resisted the urge to bolt but wariness immediately stiffened his spine and his breath caught in his throat making him gulp loudly.

 _ **This cannot be good. Screw that—it can't be happening—not to me. Not again. For God's green sake what is the matter with this bloody country!**_

"Sawada Tsunayoshi."

"Uhm…" _**Seriously, what else could I say? Something less prosaic? Maybe I should've said Hi?**_

"Are you alright Sawada Tsunayoshi?"

 _ **Japanese.**_ _**That's slightly reassuring**_.

Tsuna settled for a noncommittal nod, eyeing the men surrounding him warily, noting that there seemed to be more than a fair dozen of them and only him and what little remained of the police station amidst the wreckage.

"My name is Nougat, I need you to come with me."

"Sir, I really don't think—"

"I know that it has been an extremely trying day for you so far, Young Master Tsunayoshi, but if you come with us, I promise you, everything will be explained as thoroughly as we are able."

"Sir—I am a foreigner in your country and thus far I have had little reason to trust anyone here."

"I assure you, Young Master, we are not normally as chaotic and disorganized as this. Your arrival, however, has caused some unexpected disruptions in our normal routine. I guarantee you, you will not be harmed if you come with us."

"That's not really reassuring you know. Sir, twice today I have been taken and spoken to by frightening, intimidating strange men and clearly sir, I don't really think it would be a good thing to let myself be kidnapped a third time. I just want to find my friends and right now sir, I feel like maybe I should just go home." Tsuna spoke softly as he brushed dust and small pebbles off his clothes desultorily, his exhaustion finally catching up to him and the sight of those kind grey eyes were doing something to him. The distinguished looking gentleman gave Tsuna a soft pat on the head and for some reason he didn't find it patronizing. Rather, there was comfort that he was slowly drawing from the strange man and he found himself relaxing.

"I understand but I must insist that you come home with me, Master Tsunayoshi. I will bring you somewhere safe and everything will finally make sense. Do not fret anymore, Dino Cavallone will be there as well."

Tsuna blinked tiredly, his exhausted mind making a last ditch inquiry as to why his eyelids seemed to be dropping against his wishes but the thought slid away like passing mist. He desperately grabbed on to the last vestiges of coherence he had at his disposal, "D-dino-sensei?"

Nougat smiled down at the clearly shocked and exhausted young man and nodded. "Yes, Master Tsunayoshi. He will be there. Will you come with us now?"

Tsuna nodded once before he lost consciousness, unaware of the amused eyes that traced his lithe form. Cradled within the strong arms of Nougat, Tsuna was spirited away from the rubble of the now ruined police station, uncaring of his current situation and unaware of the changes that he would soon be waking up to.

He was also blessedly unaware of the softly uttered command that left the lips of the man that carried him so reverently.

" _Erase every trace of him from their system. Make sure there is no record of his presence or his face here. No one is to know he was here."_

Hastily murmured sounds of assent followed the tall figure that carried Tsunayoshi comfortably towards a waiting black Town Car. As the vehicle sped along the packed tourist-filled streets and then unto the much clearer coastal roads, the man spoke once more as his hands gently brushed rubble and small rocks free from the soft, tangled autumn-colored locks.

"Call the Mansion. Tell them to prepare a bath for the young master. His clothes have been ruined beyond repair. His luggage might not be retrieved in time so tell them to prepare something suitable. A light repast as well would be needed."

" _Certamente, Consigliere."_

Nougat nodded and turned back towards their sleeping charge. His gaze, normally so piercing and assessing, softened imperceptibly as he noted the delicate bone structure, recalling the soft imploring voice that seemed so compelling in its gentle entreaty, and those arresting lambent russet gaze so serene even whilst he stood surrounded by rubble from a building that just exploded all around him.

"He will be very pleased with you, Young Master. Very pleased indeed. He has been waiting for you for a very long time."


	5. Madness & Mentors

**Authors Note:**

Holy Hera I am still writing! What's up with that?

Though perhaps I should assure you that contrary to most of my current works—this one is finished. Yep, can you believe that? I can't wrap my head around that fact either but the file does exist in my computer and barring it being destroyed—pray, I beg you that it doesn't—I can reliably say that this story will be finished well before October does.

On the updating front, I am rediscovering a vein of idea for "Ties" and I have every plan of mining that. The truth with "Ties" is that it's quite difficult to fathom a reliable means of establishing a storyline that doesn't involve massively choreographed fight scenes and that problematic issue with all of those characters possessing flames and all. Really, it's enough to make someone like awake at night speculating on the what-ifs and how-do-they-do-that.

Still, fair is fair—I did start it—I should by rights, finish it. On that front—wish me tons and tons of luck.

Well, I certainly dawdled long enough. On with the story.

* * *

 **The Fish and The Mob**

 _Day 3:_

 _ **Madness and Mentors**_

 _Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be?_

 _Anonymous_

* * *

Tsuna woke up to the luxurious feeling of silk sliding against his skin. His lashes fluttered open and for a moment his mind did little but marvel at the sight afforded to him by the enormous picture windows that displayed in all its glory the magnificent vista of endless golden skies streaked with the most intense hues of pink, purple and indigo. It was an image worthy of being immortalized on film and canvas—a sight that seemed to settle something inside of Tsuna and for the first time since he landed on the tarmac and viewed the Italian landscape in person, he felt safe, warm and comfortable..

"Had a nice nap?"

The voice that spoke to him was gentle and familiar and it made him sigh in comfort, eyes falling shut as he burrowed deeper into the cool silken embrace of the heavy duvet that were wrapped around his languid limbs.

"Hmm…"

"Good." the voice turned sharp with command, " _Then get off your lazy bum and wake the hell you troublesome brat!"_

The sudden shift in tone caused Tsuna to jump in alarm and he found himself sliding off the bed into an inglorious heap, sheets and duvet dumped over his prone form, eyes blinking in shocked surprise.

"Hieee!"

"Didn't I warn you to stop saying that word, you damned brat?"

"Reborn!"

"Dame-Tsuna, I see your infernal luck has struck again."

"W-what? Never mind that—is everyone okay? Have you seen the others? How did you find me? What are you doing here—?"

"Take a breath before you give yourself a damned heart attack you brat. You're friends are fine—well, they're relatively more or else fine. They've been here for hours waiting for you to wake the hell up. You've been snoring for 18 hours straight. They're downstairs."

"That's great. Wait—what do you mean _relatively more or less fine_? What the heck does that mean? And what do you mean 18—18 hours!? Reborn!"

"Never mind that. You need to—Dame Tsuna I am not having this conversation with your upturned ass! When do you intend to get off your damned butt, you impudent brat? I don't have all day, so better hustle or do you want me to get that detonator again?"

Tsuna scrambled to his feet without much luck, his legs trapped within the confining embrace of the thick duvet. " _Hiee!_! I'm up! I'm up!"

"Good. Now I'm going to call up someone to serve us a cold collation and then we'll talk alright?"

"Reborn—look, can you tell me what's going on here? I don't think I can take any more surprises today."

"We'll you're in luck."

"Oh, so does that mean no more surprises?"

"Ah, no…it's not Saturday any longer. That day's done and over with. Today's Sunday. You have a whole new day to take in new things. Now get up and take a shower. You'll be meeting some people and you have to make a good impression."

"What—? Wait—what do you mean I'm meeting some people—?" Tsuna stumbled as his tutor pulled him hurriedly to his feet, practically dragging towards the hidden en suite that he never noticed before and had to brace himself against the door jamb before he face-plants into the cold marble tiles in his mentor's haste to shove him in. "Just wait a minute will you?! What do you mean I need to make a good impression!?"

"Stop repeating everything I say like a damned parrot you brat and just do what I say."

Wondering what newest turn his bizarre adventure would turn to now, he grudgingly stepped into the marble-floored bathroom and gaped. There was no other way he could've reacted. The cool onyx tiles beneath him glimmered with the faintest shots of gold, much like most of the hardware in the room. The sinks and pedestals were made of the whitest marble he has ever seen contrasting beautifully with the black floors and walls. The glass-walled shower had multiple heads and had a wide enough bench on one end. Fluffy towels were piled on one of the tables in the room and he gingerly picked up a few for his use.

"This just gets weirder and weirder by the minute. From private jets to posh hotels to mansions in the Mediterranean—why couldn't things just ever be simple with me?"

By the time he emerged from his bath Tsuna has regained his perspective. The shower gave him a near-religious experience and he was determined to use the feeling to get through the day without giving in to his temper. He was still rubbing the smaller of the two towels he had appropriated from the bath when he realized that with his clothing now a sopping mess on the hamper in the bath, he had nothing else to clothe himself. Tentatively he called out to his mentor, hoping the man would have a solution to his sartorial woes.

"Reborn? You there?"

"Where else would I damned be? You think I spent 12 hours crammed in a jet for kicks?"

Tsuna's snort could be heard clear across due to the room's rather excellent acoustic and his tone managed to convey his exasperation with surprising clarity. "Why are you so moody? Is the coffee there yet 'cause I'm telling you right now, you need a cup or two to drown your inner bitch and make you sound relatively human."

"Shut up and just tell me what it is you need now, you impudent little know-it-all."Reborn retorted as he sauntered back into the suite.

Tsuna found himself grinning in spite of himself at the sight of his mentor. "It seems that I don't have anything to wear." he murmured sheepishly, clutching at the towel that's been protecting his modesty for the last five minutes or so. "I doubt you want me to attend this meeting of yours in my birthday suit."

Reborn smirked, "Shouldn't you have thought of that before you decided to drown yourself in there? Must've stayed under those sprays for nearly an hour. I was worried I'd have to rescue you and I wasn't planning on getting my suit wet."

Tsuna glowered at the grinning, black-suited man, "Like you don't own ten thousand other suits. You could afford to waste a few on your poor defenseless charge."

This time Reborn snorted with clear disbelief, "' _ **Defenseless**_ '?" he gave his student an incredulous look and resisted mightily the urge to guffaw. " _ **You**_?"

"Yes me! Of course I'm defenseless!" Tsuna shouted in consternation, affronted by the clear display of dismissal and disbelief on his mentor's face.

"If _you're_ defenseless I'd eat my hat." Reborn grunted indelicately.

"What? Like you'd do that!"

"Well, not that it will ever be a possibility," he tutted thoughtfully, waving a hand towards the bed that has been miraculously made up while Tsuna was in the bath. On the pristine bed linens were a black zippered clothes bag and a pair of black, patent leather shoes.

"Are those—?"

"Your hosts have seen it fit to provide you with the appropriate attire for tonight's shindig. Don't fret brat, I'm certain it would fit. There's a robe that's probably hanging behind that closet. Wear that in the while we eat. You can put on the suit later."

"Why does it have to be a suit?" he muttered in confusion as he followed his mentor towards a small sitting area in the room, settling on one of the squishy leather arm chair that faced a small coffee table. "I mean, what need would I have for a suit?"

"You're going to a meeting to discuss what happened to you yesterday. That requires some form of formal address and you need to be suited appropriately. Consider it armor."

Tsuna was enjoying the first bite of food he'd had since his meal on the plane when he registered what his mentor said. He blinked at the cunning, grinning dark-eyed man that was watching him like a hawk, absently chewing on his marmalade-covered toast, "Armor huh? That bad is it?" he mumbled questioningly.

Reborn gave a short sharp nod before gesturing to Tsuna to continue on eating. He eyed his student as the young man partook of his meal steadily, himself reaching for his third cup of coffee of the day and deliberated for a moment whether or not he should give his student much needed context. He settled for a comfortable middle ground.

"I'm sure you're wondering why all this madness is happening—"

"You think?" Tsuna couldn't help but sniping but one look at his mentor had him muttering apologies immediately. "Sorry for interrupting. Go on, please."

"As I was saying—and don't you interrupt me again brat or I will put you on my knees and beat you until you manage to listen to me without arguing. Now listen to me—everything that happened to you was a result of speculation and suspicion and pretty much the entire Famiglia's over-reaction once they found out that you were coming here."

Reborn paused and like a little kid in preschool Tsuna found himself raising a tentative hand in the universal sign of a child asking permission to pose a question. Reborn smirked but gave a nod.

Tsuna wracked his mind to figure out how to best pose his question with the biggest possibility of attaining a favorable response. Mustering his wandering thoughts, he quickly asked the most pertinent question in his mind.

"Why does it matter that I came here? What's so strange or dangerous or important for some people or family I haven't met, didn't even know that I come to this country for vacation?"

Reborn gave him a small smile, "Not family Dame-Tsuna, _Famiglia_. Here in the Old Country, _that_ word means something entirely different from what you know or expect. And the reason they're all running around like chickens with their heads cut off, mucking everything is because they're desperate to have you join them. Think of this—all of this—as some elaborate job screening for a very important position."

A moment passed. For the next few minutes Reborn watched as his student processed everything that he said juxtaposing that with his recent experiences in the last 24-hours and sipped his coffee waiting for the inevitable explosion. He had just managed to finish his cup when the rare phenomenon of his student's bellowing voice suddenly echoed around him.

" **Are you telling me that the reason they've kidnapped me out of the airport and passed me around like some lost package in this infernal city, abducted and interrogated by strangers and brought into the depths of this demented, manic version of hell is because these Armani-clad nut jobs wanted to recruit me for some kind of job interview?!"** Tsuna snarled, his teeth gritted in fury as his usually lambent gaze narrowed in clear indignation.

He placed his cup on the table with an audible clink. "Approximately."

"And they couldn't be _bothered_ to just _ask_?"

Tsuna was huffing and breathing loudly, clearly agitated because he gave in to his usually nonexistent temper but the boy was already trying to wrangle his temper in, like he was wont to do. It was one of Tsuna's many idiosyncrasies that amused him to no end.

"People—well, these kinds of people don't just ask. Not really their area so to speak."

"What kind of people are they!"he screamed in frustrated rage, banging his hand on the table and wincing at the resulting pain. He gave his hand a cursory look before looking at his mentor, his cheeks suddenly blooming in color at the man's clearly unamused gaze.

"I know I shouldn't be having a tantrum but you must admit this is just so—it's ludicrous!" Tsuna grumbled in frustration.

"I haven't contradicted you now, have I? But this world you're getting into functions quite well with concepts that redefine and eradicate the meaning of the word 'ludicrous' on a daily basis."

"Just so that we're all finally clear here—what kind of job is it that I am supposed to be interviewing for?"Tsuna asked petulantly, not giving an inch to the gnawing feeling of panic that's been slowly filling his stomach.

Reborn took a deep breath and tried to reassure his clearly agitated student.

"Think of it as a high-stakes version, winner-takes-all poker."

Tsuna wondered if the stress was playing tricks with him and the auditory hallucination was the first hint. Clearing his throat, he tried for clarity, "Poker?"

"Yep."

Clearly he didn't imagine the man saying what he did."Poker?" Reborn gave another nod and Tsuna found himself floundering once more. "That's it? That's all you're going to tell me? This—all this madness is just like Poker?!"

"More or less. You know it?"

Tsuna couldn't help but snort, "Not really, but I'm sure someone in this madhouse is dying to tell me." It didn't reassure him one whit when Reborn gave him an irreverent grin.

"Well, they certainly would kill for you to know how."

Tsuna couldn't help but shudder and glared half-heartedly at the still smirking man sitting across him, "Can you not do that? Stop using the words _dying_ and _killing_ when it comes to anything associated to me. It makes me feel like I'm going to my execution or something."

"Well, something...look, kid—this isn't something that should put your knickers in a twist."

"Oh really?" Tsuna grimaced in frustration, waving his hands in clear protest, " _Don't get my—are you even listening to yourself_? You're standing there cool as a bloody cucumber in a salad convention telling me that I've been kidnapped, rescued, and then re-abducted by people whose area doesn't cover anything remotely sensible like extending an invitation for this godforsaken job that I am suppose to be interviewed for when I don't even know what the hell it is and you're comparing it to a high-stakes poker like that's something I should be happy about! Tell me again I have no right to have my knickers or anything else in a freaking, godforsaken bloody twist!

 _Huh. Three curses in one sentence. That's a first for the kid._ Reborn thought with amusement. He knew that his student was fast losing his patience and his focus and would soon devolve into panic if he doesn't get a hold of his last nerve. The boy worked well under pressure, he most of all knew that for a fact and this time would be no different. _Softening the truth wouldn't do either of them any good. It's time for brass tactics._

"Look, it would do you a world of good to just resign to the fact that you'll be playing and declining is not one of your options. Actually, you only have only one option that doesn't lead up to you and yours ending up in a pine box or buried in some decrepit farmer's vineyard flavoring next couple of years vintage."

"But—Reborn, what am I supposed to do here?"

"Haven't I taught you anything? Deal with the matter as best as you can. I'm getting things organized on my end. Don't worry so much Dame-Tsuna—it's really not that bad. The world isn't ending and your friends will be fine."

" _Oh really?_ I've been kidnapped by a guy that looks like he would cheerfully fillet Santa Claus and glared at by a pair of suited, armed Inspectors who in all probability's howling for my blood because someone who wanted to kidnap me again blew their police station sky high and now I will be forced to play in a game I don't even know for the lives of my unfortunate neighbors, classmates and friends for a job I have no intention of accepting or even have any knowledge of. But I guess since I am operating according to the _Gospel of Reborn_ , I suppose in the grand scheme of your life that's not worth much!" he grated, glaring at his oblivious mentor and wished for once he had a detonator he could conveniently chuck at the man's grinning visage.

Tsuna knows well enough that there had been very few instances since he has been tempted to exact violence on another person and his tutor was close to being the first in a very long time. He opted for stomping towards the bed he awoke from and rummaged through the clothing options provided to him, snorting indelicately when he noted the slate gray bespoke suit that he found inside the garment bag, along with a snow-white shirt, black socks and an oddly pleasing silk tie the shade of dark amber. It didn't surprise him when he saw the tiny box that housed a pair of intricately engraved cuff-links.

The man, immune as he was to death-threats, outright maiming or even the possibility of annihilation at the hands of a pent-up teenager, cheerfully and willfully ignored him and simply cocked his ubiquitous fedora more comfortably on his head and gleefully reminiscence a similar incident from his past.

"You know this kind of reminds me something that happened to me before. I once played poker with a megalomaniac with a god complex using an unknown deck with the odds stacked against me, where every card is blank and the house is rigged to cheat everyone else and this guy just kept smiling at me and nodding his head while waiting for me to start."

Tsuna figured he could either strangle the man or kill himself with the silk tie. He settled for glaring at the man with his best basilisk impression even as his voice settled into the most unconcerned, dismissive monotone he could manage.

"Of course you did." he deadpanned.


	6. Accusing Assurance

**Authors Note:**

Nearly there. Just a bit more and hopefully this would be finished. I am so hoping for that. Wish me luck. Ironically, most of the dialogue here—I wrote them right after the first chapter. It's what motivated me to continue with the story because I really, really wanted the dialogue to be part of a story. I have an idea for what the ending would be like—it's just a matter of fine-tuning it. I know I can be horribly sloppy when I don't pay attention.

Please tell me what you think. **Really.** I'd love to know what you think of their conversations. I'm serious.

* * *

 **The Fish and The Mob**

 _Day 3: Yes, Still…_

 _ **Accusing Assurance**_

 _Experience is the hardest kind of teacher._

 _It gives you the test first, and the lesson afterward._

 _\- Anonymous_

* * *

The moment he walked in, he was met by the frantic calls and hugs from his friends all of whom were determined to speak to him all at once, ask him where he has been or reprimand him for being careless enough to get himself kidnapped. After endless minutes spent alternately reassuring every one of his healthful state and his continued presence for the rest of their trip, as well countless apologies he'd had to make about his utter naivety regarding strangers, he finally spied a figure that he has been wondering and wishing for ever since his trip took a turn towards Weirdsville.

"Uma-sensei!"

"Tsuna!"

The man was clearly beside himself as he threw his not-inconsiderable bulk against Tsuna's slight frame, babbling and crying and blubbering as he made a garbled attempt at apologizing and assuring Tsuna that it was all his fault, that he would make amends and that he never expected anything to actually happen to any of them.

"I am so-so sorry Tsuna! I didn't intend for any of this to happen! I didn't know they would know and that they would do something about it!"

"Yes, yes, I understand—don't—oh please don't cry anymore Uma-sensei,er Dino-sensei. I'm sure no one ever expected anything like this—oh no don't cry—!I wasn't blaming you—oh dear, please don't cry— _shhh_ —yes, there we go now, sir, it's fine."

Tsuna was helpless to do more than just pat the older man consolingly on his back and occasionally murmuring calming nonsense, all the while bemusedly noting the mix of scandal, alarm and outright shock that painted the faces of those around them. Seeing the usually suave if at times clumsy man lose his considerable composure was something none of them ever expected.

To Tsuna and the other's relief, Romario came up and took charge of his master with a minimum of fuss, quietly admonishing the man to act his age and proceeded to clean up his young master's tear-soaked face and surreptitiously straightened the agitated man's suit, reminding him that there were other concerns that he needed to pay attention to.

Tsuna found to his utter amusement and delight that even Lambo, Dino-sensei's ward was looking at his pseudo guardian with a scandalized look and with a shared grin between them, the boy walked up to Tsuna, giving him a surprisingly strong hug before planting himself firmly next to Tsuna, clutching at the edge of his borrowed suit jacket, his intent unmistakable.

And so while his teacher regained his bearings, he asked his friends where their other classmates were, where they were staying and how they've spent the previous day and whether their teacher made any plans regarding their stay and what they intended to do. They all spoke of their panic and concern and that in the face of his absence [read: _kidnapping_ ] they postponed any discussions about their immersion studies until he could be found. Their other classmates, clearly overwrought with the trip and worry elected to stay in the mansion where their teacher was waiting for them, unknowing of Tsuna's separation and consequent abduction. His friends reassured him that they volunteered to come looking for him when Uma-sensei found that he had been found.

When his questioning led to the question of how they came to be in the mansion where he woke up to after yet another ' _liberation_ ' from the police station, he found to his utter bafflement and amusement that his friends all actively avoided telling him how they came to be in the mansion and how exactly their intrepid if flaky professor knew where to locate him.

"What do you mean you don't know how he knew?" he asked suspiciously, looking at the shifty eyed looks his friends were exchanging. "Didn't he bring you with him?" Ryou-nii was the first to answer him and Tsuna couldn't help but notice that it was vague and filled with a lot of extra hand waving and blinding smiles.

"It was nothing Sawada! Just an extreme adventure on this extremely beautiful land! We met the extreme challenge with extreme energy and focus and it was extremely rewarding! I enjoyed it to the extreme and the others did too!"

Tsuna rubbed his ears furtively, giving the beaming man a shaky smile before turning once more towards his best friends, his look brooking no more diversionary tactics.

Hayato gave a sigh before nodding and grudgingly replied, eyeing Tsuna worriedly as if he was afraid that Tsuna would vanish right in front of him, "That's not—well he got this call Boss and we kinda overheard him and we decided to—!"

"We wanted to find out for ourselves that you were fine Tsuna, so we kinda gate-crashed this shindig." Takeshi grinned at him, "We figured, well, at least this time around we could find out if you we're really here and if you weren't—well, then we can ask them where we can look right?"

"That's—guys, that was really dangerous—!"

"Nah," Takeshi waved a hand dismissively, "No danger there. We all volunteered and we had Hibari-senpai with us. Figured between him and 'Dera translating we have more than a fair chance of finding something."

"Takeshi, that's not— _really_? You convinced _Hibari-senpai_ to come with you?"

"Ah about that Sawada—that's an extremely interesting thing! You see—!"

Hayato glared at the grinning Takeshi before turning towards Tsuna with a beatific smile, "Well, at first we didn't really plan on bringing him but then that Mukuro-bastard kinda goaded him into it."

Takeshi gave Tsuna a grin that nearly blinded him. "And we kinda figured if we're going to get into some trouble—hey, who else would we bring, right?"

Tsuna felt his eyes bug-out in shock and in a choked voice managed to gasp, "How in the world did _he_ do that?!"

He stared at his friends who were all grinning bar for the stone-faced Disciplinary Committee Chairman and wondered if it would've been safer not to continue asking when he felt a gentle presence suddenly sidle up to him and he turned, his own lambent russet gaze met with a haunting purple eye that softened imperceptibly when their owner gave him a small nod and a smile.

"Boss…" the tentative voice spoke of concern and relief in equal measure and Tsuna found himself immediately reaching out to cradle a small, delicate hand in his.

"Chrome-chan…now, what did I tell you about calling me that? I told you, just Tsuna is fine. We're friends, aren't we?" he murmured softly, watching as a faint brush of rose bloomed on the fair, smooth cheeks framed by short silken ebony locks. He waited patiently for the other to speak, unaware of the way his voice drew the looks of nearly every person in the room, his entire focus on the shy and slight figure standing in front of him.

"T-tsuna-sama is as ever very kind to Chrome…"

"Chrome-chan…" he wanted to chide her but he knew better than reprimand the gentle-natured, sensitive girl that was clinging to his hands trustingly like a small child. "There was something you wanted to tell me?" he prompted her softly and watched as a spark of humor gleamed within her normally wary purple gaze.

"Oh, yes" she nodded. "Onii-sama convinced Chairman-sama by saying that it was his duty to ensure that Namimori doesn't get involved in any international incident or kidnapping. Onii-sama taunt—teased Chairman-sama that it was his job to get you back." Chrome looked up once, biting her lip in unease, before resuming her usual habit of staring at her feet. "Onii-sama didn't mean any harm—he was just worried as I was and—!"

"Chrome-chan," Tsuna gently lifted a hand against the younger girl's chin, making her meet his gaze and gave her a smile of his own, relieved to see when the anxiety faded from her eye. "Its okay. I understand and I'm sure Hibari-senpai wouldn't take it against anyone."

"Are you sure?"

Tsuna nodded decisively, reassuring Chrome by giving her hands a soft squeeze, "Don't worry. I'll talk to both of them later, okay? Thank you for explaining to me Chrome-chan."

He was about to speak with the even more troublesome of their group—this with the obvious presence of his constantly warring best friends—when Dino suddenly appeared in front of him accompanied by a slight, short woman.

Dino cleared his throat and gestured towards his companion, "Tsuna, I have someone here who wants to meet with you."

* * *

 **"Mr. Sawada Tsunayoshi I presume?"**

The voice was deep and authoritative and spoke, not surprisingly, in clear, crisp Japanese. The lower registry however did not disguise the alluring tone or the feminine charm of the owner who was looked like she was just a few years older than Tsuna, possessing, like him a less than imposing stature that was coupled by long dark hair and delicate features.

"Uhm…yeah—I mean yes. I'm Sawada Tsunayoshi," Tsuna extended his hand gallantly and shook the hand that was offered with the requisite grace and a small smile that lighted his eyes, his voice murmuring pleasantly, "I am sorry if I have kept you. Please excuse me."

Her intense indigo eyes gleaned at him like a moonlit lake, mysterious, dark and deep. Just like the smile that hovered quite readily on her thin, pale lips.

"Believe me, there is nothing to forgive. I am finding myself quite surprisingly pleased to make your acquaintance Sawada Tsunayoshi."

"Uhm—I-I am pleased too—I think."

"I assure you the pleasure is entirely mine. You may call me Aria. I am Giglio Nero. Shall we go into the parlor so we can begin this meeting and finally lay to rest all this confusion?"

Tsuna glanced at his friends before turning back to the quietly waiting woman and nodded, following quietly in her wake.

He found his gaze being drawn to the figure beside him, wondering why of all the strangers—or in some cases—near strangers considering the introductions—he has met recently, it was with this woman he felt the keenest connection. By all rights he should be downright wary if not outrightly belligerent and on guard after being subjected to so many abductions with smiling, suspicious characters. But something about Aria calmed him. Called to him like a familiar kin.

"You have concerns and questions of course." It was a statement, not an inquiry and so Tsuna merely gave a nod noting the strong confident stride that the woman had, reminding him of yet another person who walked—no sauntered like an apex predator around him. The thought made a small smile curl on his lips, his memories obligingly showing him a virtual gallery of people in his life that had that particular kind of walk. His tutor of course—but then the man, like the woman who was walking beside him—tread everywhere like he owned every piece of land beneath his feet.

There was however, the undeniable fact that for all he himself never considered himself foolish or rash or even faintly suicidal—he seemed to gravitate and find comfort among those that exuded a less than 'safe' air—well, at least for most people. There were notably some exemptions to this fact of course—and while most of them were female and small children—they exist just the same and Tsuna takes comfort in that truth, if in nothing else.

His male friends and acquaintances, however, could be in no way, shape or form be ever categorized as safe or even harmless. But that's the crux of the matter for Tsuna since he knows instinctively that while they have the apparent predatory air—Hayato with his fierce teal eyes and sharp intellect; Takeshi with his intimidating physical prowess and grace; Ryou-nii with his strength and endurance; Mukuro with his cold cunning and sheer inventiveness and of course Hibari-senpai with his formidable fighting skills and undeniable air of command—none of them inspire any fear in Tsuna. For some insane, inexplicable reason nothing about them makes Tsuna afraid. In awe, yes—they render that in him almost daily—but no alarm, no trepidation, no panic.

"I was recently informed you've had a rough introduction to the Old Country." Aria's voice was pleasant to listen to. Despite the formality of her words, there was a sense of openness and genuine welcome in her tone.

"In a manner of speaking."he murmured politely before giving her an impish grin, "But then again I was kidnapped twice before I was after all, detained illegally by a questionable group of men claiming to be part of the local police force and I doubt that's part of the normal tourist initiative of Italy. If it is, I would hope you will convey my concerns and suggestion that perhaps touring a vineyard might be more apt. A bit sedate yes, but at least it won't be altogether traumatizing."

Aria tossed him a clearly amused grin, her indigo eyes shimmering in mirth as she gave in to her impulse and laughed out loud, calling the attention of those around them and clearly unconcerned of whatever impression they're leaving.

"I see. I'll be sure to tell them that then."

"Thank you."

Her demeanor however settled once more into a smooth polished mask as the sounds of her laughter petered out. "However, you must trust me when I say that your experiences—while colorful and no doubt alarming—should in no way alarm you to what is about to happen now. You are perfectly safe here. All we are hoping to determine is the exact nature of your presence and business here."

"I am still confused as to why I was singled out—I mean, we couldn't possibly be the first ever bunch of foreigners that went to Italy for an immersion class to learn and practice the language."

"Indeed not. But the situation, I'm afraid, is not that simple. The circumstances of your presence here is a bit more complicated than anyone could've predicted."

Aria gestured towards a closed pair of heavily carved doors that seemed to reach the ceiling. The unusually large doors, intricately detailed with a coat of arms swung open to reveal a huge space that bore more than a passing resemblance to a throne room.

And there, lounging comfortably on a large, velvet lined wing-back chair of carved ebony, surrounded by six black-suited men of varying ethnicity and ages, was a distinguished looking older man with hair white as snow, clad in a clearly expensive dove-gray suit, holding idly a small cane that looked more like a scepter than anything else.

Tsuna's eyes swept across the gather throng of adults and felt an atavistic chill run down his spine. His wandered around the room, darting here and there, surprised to see his friends were already seated when he knew he left before them and wondered if Aria was deliberate in her distraction.

 _They must've come here directly while I was given a roundabout tour. Wonder why they don't look apprehensive at all. Am I just being paranoid?_

His eyes darted around some more until his gaze was caught by a pair of brilliant golden eyes. Something inside of Tsuna suddenly came to a halt and the sound that surrounded the room became instantly muted.

There was humor in those eyes, warmth, welcome and most of all relief and inexplicable joy. Those golden eyes held him captive and Tsuna was loathe to look away even for a moment. Something about the man's gaze was calling to Tsuna—a yearning that suddenly blazed inside of him and like a gear that has long been out of sync—worn at the threads and wearied with constant use— _a feeling_ —a certainty inside of him suddenly shifted and finally aligned itself, snapping into place and for the first time since he could remember—Tsuna felt his entire self slot into its proper place and hum in triumph.

 _ **Why is this man so happy to see me? Is he looking at me? Do I know him from somewhere? And why do I feel like I just woke up after a long period of sleeping?**_

* * *

"Tsunayoshi?"

Aria's voice broke the spell and Tsuna found himself blinking rapidly, as if momentarily blinded by the light and tried desperately to collect his thoughts and his rapidly eroding composure, giving the woman a wan smile and an encouraging murmur of assent.

"Yes?"

"I spoke with the people in your group and they have agreed to stay in the viewing room while we conduct this interview. They have also unanimously agreed to have you speak on their behalf and have waived any right to contest any statement you make for them. Is this an agreeable condition for you?"

"Do we—any of us—have a choice in this matter? Until you clear us or until some kind of legal action from our embassy could be arranged—we're all stuck here, so I suppose we really don't have much of choice now do we?"

"Indeed. That is one way to look at it. Will you be needing anything?"

Tsuna bit his lip nervously and wondered if he would be reprimanded for what he would ask for. He knows quite well that the man wouldn't like it but his sense of self feels a bit ragged and he needs every ounce of self-possession he could salvage ever since he has been through his adventure.

"There is a man here—he was with me when I woke up—Reborn—that's his name. My tutor-I want him here, if it's possible."

Aria pinned Tsuna with a piercing look and it was all he could do not to flinch.

"He cannot be made to speak for you. This interview is for you and he could not take any part of it save for his physical presence. Do you understand?"

Tsuna gave a snort and a short nod, lifting his chin, affronted with the clear implication. "I don't need him to speak for me. I just want his presence to steady my nerves. His silent counsel, his presence and his steadiness, whether you believe it or not, is what I desire. He has taught me to take responsibility for my actions for years now and I am not about to hide behind him and let him fight my battles for me."

"Very well. Nozaru."

A short, long-haired figure came forward and bowed to Aria. Tsuna had no illusion that the gesture of obeisance was in any way for him and he turned his eyes from the conference between the two.

"Please extend an invitation to the gentleman that is currently in the suite that Tsunayoshi stayed in last night. Inform him that the candidate requests his presence."

" _Certamente, Principessa."_

The man bowed once more before executing a sharp about face and strode from the room. A minute or two after, Tsuna was settled into a small settee and Reborn was ushered into the room and settled on a large leather chair. Reborn gave Tsuna a single nod before turning his gaze towards the raised dais and the people gathered there, a slight smirk painted the tutor's thin lips.

"Tsunayoshi, your tutor shall be allowed to remain at your side but that is all he is allowed to do. For the duration of this meeting, you must answer as truthfully as you can all the inquiries that will be made of you, okay?"

Tsuna gave a nod. "Alright."

"Then we shall begin."

She gave his arm a short squeeze before gesturing towards a tall man wearing, incongruously enough, a checkered mask.

"That man is known as Checker Face. He is the representative of Vendicare—the Famiglia's version of legal justice. In your case, since it is most unusual, the usual channels could not be observed and so an impartial panel must be imposed. I am here in the capacity of mediator. He will be the one asking you questions. Do you understand Tsunayoshi?"

"Yes. Thank you Aria-san."

"Just Aria. Good luck Tsunayoshi. I am looking forward to talking to you after this meeting is over."

Aria nodded surprising Tsuna by bestowing a fleeting kiss on his cheeks, leaving him flustered and blushing. She went up to the dais and spoke briefly with the men that sat there so imperiously. She gave another nod towards Tsuna before she, herself sat on another throne-like chair next to the old man who has yet to stop smiling down at Tsuna. Uncomfortable with the strange attention, Tsuna's eyes tracked a new figure that descended from the dais. The man sat behind an ornate desk, a pile of papers were placed in front of him and he had the strict, judicious air of someone used to settling difficult decisions and concerns. He glanced at the papers in his hand before turning towards Tsuna and giving him a short bow. Returning the gesture, Tsuna tried to settle his stomach and prepared himself for battle.

 _Something tells him, he wouldn't like the results of today's interview._

 _If only he knew how right he would be, he never would've sat down so heedlessly. He would've bolted out of the room like as if the hounds of hell were behind him and never stop running._

 _Unfortunately, he didn't and so he had to endure one of the most bizarre moments of his young life. And it all began with the very first question._

* * *

"Tell me, Sawada Tsunayoshi, what is a young man like you doing with a veritable entourage of dangerous people?"

All of Tsuna's carefully calculated plan of being suave and stoic faded in a heartbeat and he gawked at the man in confusion.

" _ **Dangerous people?**_ How in the name of god do we even look dangerous compared to you—and your black-suited drone squad?! They're not my entourage-they're friends and neighbors and classmates—!"

"Dangerous is a relative term, I admit. However, your companions are certainly suspicious don't you agree?"

Tsuna glared at the man, finding his words at best irritating and he tried once more to rear back his aggravated senses, "Suspicious is like the term dangerous—still pretty relative sir. Suspicious—even dangerous, for you might not be anything worth being alarmed for me."

"Obviously your definition needs some kind of meeting ground. Relative is still so vague and in a situation like the one we find ourselves to be in, that's not something we want."

"I doubt you can give me any ground to consider the people I'm with as being dangerous or even suspicious. Sir."

The man picked up a pile of papers, glanced at their content before gesturing towards the child that was perched unobtrusively beside Tsuna. Tsuna gave Lambo a comforting smile, holding on to the small hands that clutched at his jacket.

"That child you think wouldn't be noticed beside you has been found with a small armory concealed within his unfortunate hairstyle." The man lifted the page and recited, "We found a veritable cache of weapons including six grenades, a fully-functional grenade launcher I couldn't figure out how he kept there, three miniature military-grade landmines and a purple-pink bazooka." A pause. "Plus two lollipops and a bag of grape-flavored candies."

" _Are you people actually serious_?" Tsuna stared at the masked figure, "Can't you distinguish real weapons from toys? Those things are just are toys. No one in their right mind would give children such things to play with. Sure they can sound a bit realistic but what can you do? Toy makers can be so inventive. I mean, he was hiding them in his hair, for goodness sake!" He pinned the frowning man a look from his eyes and watched with some satisfaction as a big burly man that stood in a corner holding on to Lambo's things actually blushed. He was tired and hot and none of the people here even offered him tea. He so not in the frame of mind to deal with his sometime-ward's tantrum should he make demands for his usual sweets. "And sir, you _better_ make sure to give him back those candies! I don't even know if I could find that brand here!"

"It's just candy—!"

"And Vesuvius is just a really big, bad-tempered hill. I assure you sir, this boy can and will induce migraines the likes of which would drive you to contemplate suicide so please, for all our sakes, don't mess with his sweets. You wouldn't want to be anywhere near him when that happens."

The man harrumphed in clear frustration. " _Moving on_. You have a gifted and rather enthusiastic bomber right there."

"Oh for the love of all that's holy—! He's a graduate chemist!"

"He carries on his person nearly fifty sticks of dynamite of varied sizes and enough materials to fabricate a passable version of C4 that could level an entire city block."

Tsuna nodded and raised a conciliatory hand. "Okay, yes, so it sounds bad when you say it like that, I know, but Hayato doesn't intend to blow out anything let alone a city block. I mean why would he even do something like that? He has an unhealthy affection for explosions and things that seem to combust but that's just expected with chemicals and whatnot, isn't it? I mean, he's experimenting and failures are par for the course. How else would he discover the answer for this thesis?"

"Your companion carries explosive materials as research material for his thesis?"

"Well, no, he carries ordinary and easily obtainable household materials and supplies that could possibly be made into explosives given enough expert knowledge. What other reason do you think he has them with him? Do you have any idea how cutthroat and competitive research could be in the university? Anyway, what did Hayato tell you when you asked him? Hayato?"

" _ **Why do you idiots doubt him so much? I told you what it was for. It's for my goddamn thesis!"**_

"I told you. And Hayato, what did I say about your language?" Tsuna however pinned his friend with a prim look until the blustering silver-head blushed in chagrin, muttering a quick apology and settling into silence once more. "Besides, Hayato wouldn't do something as dangerous as bring dynamite with him on a plane when surrounded by his friends and an impressionable child."

"What do you think these things are then?"

"What logic would dictate them to be, of course. They're fireworks."

"Fireworks?!"the man nearly shouted and Tsuna wondered if the man needed a break or maybe a drink or two.

"Can you please stop repeating whatever it is that I say—you sound like a—!" Tsuna immediately cut himself off when he realized he was about to spout off one of his tutor's favorite complaint when dealing with the same thing.

 _ **Dear God, I**_ **really** _ **am losing my mind. I'm quoting Reborn!Someone help me!**_

Tsuna was so caught up with his inner meltdown that he missed quite a bit of what the Interrogator was saying until his hearing caught an unusually string of words.

"—his sister is also a known contract killer."

"What?" he sputtered, "Who's a contract killer?"

"His sister. One Bianchi—"

" _ **Bianchi?"**_ Tsuna nearly screeched, "Good lord, I know the woman needs to improve her cooking or she really might cause someone to keel over due to indigestion but it doesn't mean she kills people deliberately. At most, any death she might cause is accidental. I mean, it's bad that she can't cook, but that's not a criminal offense. Certainly not for you to accuse her of being a killer, of all things!"

This time the man really gave Tsuna a glare, "And that oh so spectacular, natural-born assassin to be that's very good with blades and with that really creepy smile?

"Natural born—?! _Assassin?_ Takeshi? You're calling one of my best friends and one of the nicest people I've ever been blessed to know a _natural-born_ assassin because his athleticism is above average? He's a baseball player! Running is part of his training regiment! As for the knives, of course he's comfortable with blades—Takeshi works with his father in their very own sushi shop!"

" _ **My old man is the best sushi chef! If you ever come to Namimori, I'll be happy to feed you the best sushi you'll ever taste!"**_

"See? And what do you mean creepy? He smiles all the time, he's very friendly and no, no one has ever ran screaming from him, ever." Tsuna took a breath before adding after a beat. "Well, not until your men that is, apparently."

"He carries a sword with him." The masked man sullenly pointed out, reminding Tsuna of a sulking child.

He tried to patiently explain despite his annoyance for the man's persistent accusations. "It's a wooden sword and it's a practice one for learning a martial art called Kendo. It's a good-luck charm given by his father for this trip. Seriously, the worst you'll get from it would be a splinter or maybe a really big bruise. It can't cut anything, not even paper.

" _ **I told them that but they won't believe me!"**_

"That overly enthusiastic fighter—is also just another enthusiastic athlete? He doesn't fight like an amateur."Checker Face sneered

"He's a Physical Education major that's been part of the varsity boxing club since his freshman year! Granted, Ryou-nii could tone down just a teeniest bit his enthusiasm but what do you expect? A morose PE teacher and coach really isn't the most inspiring thing in the world you know. He's just very, very—well excitable that's all. It's not a crime to be cheerful."

" _ **Way to go Sawada! That is an extremely good thing of you to say!"**_

"Well, he cheerfully punched through the wall while saying something that was reported to sound like something 'to the extreme' or some such thing."

"So he doesn't quite know his own strength. That's why he trains every day, so that he wouldn't accidental harm anyone and he hasn't in years! Extreme just happens to be his favorite word."

"Said it every time he spoke—sometimes more than once in a single sentence. My men noted something around the region of twenty in a single conversation."

"Well, that's kind of like his catchphrase or motto you see. He likes saying it."

" _ **Like**_ is putting it lightly. And how about these two? Your twin spies?

"Spies? What spies? Chrome-chan wouldn't hurt a fly and she hardly ever raises her voice, let alone talk with anyone she doesn't know! Are you bloody mental? She barely speaks at all! What are you people on? Have you seen Chrome-chan? She's so delicate—she couldn't and wouldn't even hurt a fly! Why in the world would you even suspect her of any wrongdoing, let alone something as ridiculous as spying?!"

"She and her twin brother were found loitering around in the restricted area."

"They must've gotten lost. We are not really familiar with this area—we're not really all that familiar with the entire country for that matter. It doesn't bear anything if you consider that fact. As for Mukuro-san, sure, he might be a bit odd to you but Chrome–chan's older brother's a bit of a prankster and he likes playing mental games with people that piss him off but that's his thing! They're stage actors! Not spies! SO, they like pranks but that's no reason to go on accusing them of these preposterous allegations—!"

"What they did to my men is not something I would constitute as a simple prank by any definition. He left them dangling like criminals in the gallows!"

" **What did your men do?"**

This time, Tsuna's voice was suspiciously bland but the man, unaware of the dangerous grounds he had inadvertently entered, continued to blather on.

"What makes you think my men did anything?"

Tsuna simply stared at the man and waited. Gingerly, the man rubbed a hand across his face and grumbled, "They told me that they tried restraining the pair but could only lay a hand on the female twin—"

"Begging your pardon sir, but one of your men grabbed a tiny, seventeen year old young lady who suffers from frail health, delicate sensibilities and is being treated medically for suffering from extreme shyness and proceeded to drag her around like a rag-doll. Are you telling me that in your definition that means ' _nothing_ '?"

"Look, there's no need to misconstrue my meaning here—!"

"I don't have to _'misconstrue'_ anything here, sir. Believe me, having her twin hang them from the rafters of that building was a kindness he otherwise wouldn't have bothered with if the rest of their siblings were around. Be thankful sir that their older brothers aren't around. They would make that prank so much less like a joke had the case been otherwise."

"Fine! So all of your so-called companions are safe, _extremely_ boring individuals" Checker Face sneered maliciously, his gaze gleaming with barely concealed annoyance as he pointed at one of them, " _And what about him_? That feral attack dog that decimated my men? I assume you're going to do your level best to tell me he too, is as innocent as a fucking lamb?"

"Of course not."

The man blinked as of he was suddenly confused. _"No?"_

"Not at all. But I would like to clarify that he isn't a feral attack dog. He's a classmate who just happens to be my apartment manager."

"What the hell— _he's your apartment manager_?!"

"Yes."

"That man—that machine that beat up trained grown men twice his size and age—he's your fucking apartment manager?!"

"As I have stated repeatedly."

"Are you fucking with me son?"

"Please don't curse in front of me sir. I find coarse language particularly offensive. And I would like to state unequivocally that I will not tolerate it for long. That's one point Hibari-senpai and I agree with. "

"Coarse—fucking hell."

" **Sir. I will ask you once last time. DO NOT CURSE IN FRONT OF ME ESPECIALLY WHEN I HAVE AN IMPRESSIONABLE CHILD NEXT TO ME."**

The man jumped to his feet and sneered at Tsuna, waving his hands with insulting disdain, " _Fine_ , be an _effing_ proper young prince then. But I do not—cannot-hell! I _will not_ believe that that fighter and his weird, retro-haired side-kick isn't some kind of fighting machine. He didn't just fight off my men—he annihilated them. I have read the reports from the EMS team that came with them—none of them were left unscathed. That boy right there—broke and beat nearly three quarters of my men—highly qualified men, trained and experienced—and he treated them like ruddy recruits so you can't just sit there and tell me to my face that that monster doesn't know how to fight! He revels in it!"

Resisting the urge to simply introduce the man to Hibari-senpai's tonfas, Tsuna tried once again to clear the air, his jaw already aching from all the instances he has clenched them to keep his temper in check.

"He likes fighting—I never said he didn't, sir. Revel perhaps is a bit strong—Hibari-senpai enjoys challenging strong opponents, I was reliably told. Actually—I have personally witnessed that unfortunate fact more times than I will ever be comfortable with. However, I must insist that you stop referring to him as a machine or a monster. He really isn't that bad, so please don't refer to him that way. Hibari-senpai might not be the easiest of men to deal with for any number of reasons, but he can be very kind when he wants to be. Admittedly it doesn't happen quite as often or as openly but I genuinely believes that he is very, very nice underneath all his—er—bloodthirsty nature."

"Is that all? So a simple dorm manager carries titanium-enforced tonfas just for fun or is that the latest fashion statement from where you came from?"

"Well, clearly you haven't met anyone like Hibari-senpai—though to be perfectly honest, I doubt that you would meet anyone quite like him ever again. Probably very few people are like him anyways—you should be thankful of that fact but it's just that he's pretty much—in charge of the security for everyone in town. It doesn't have any bearing where we are currently or geographically at the moment. To Hibari-senpai—we are rightfully under his charge and therefore his protection. Any act that would jeopardize that or the reputation and standing of Namimori on the whole is something he would never, ever tolerate."

" _ **My, my…you have certainly spoken passionately on my behalf Omnivore. Kusakabe Tetsuya."**_

" _ **Yes, Chairman?"**_

" _ **Remind me to reward Tsunayoshi personally."**_

" _ **Yes Chairman."**_

" ' _Chairman_ ' ?" Checker Face stubbornly refused to look at the smirking Skylark, opting instead to continue glaring at Tsuna.

"Of the Disciplinary Committee. It's also part of Hibari-senpai's duty in the University. Look, Hibari-senpai likes going about things his way and seriously sir, you better tell your subordinate to put that rod of his down and stop glaring at him because if he sees him with it and there's even the tiniest smidgeon of intent in that man, he'll say his catchphrase and I seriously don't want to end up in jail before I even have a day to rest and you'd probably like it if you don't lose another man to fatal injury."

To Tsuna's inner glee, the mercurial Skylark took it upon himself to be entertaining and proceeded to slide his custom made tonfas out and swinging them idly in the air, informing everyone around him that despite their rigorous security and weapons check, none of them possessed the death wish to ask the young man for his clearly less-than-harmless accouterments.

Tsuna gestured towards the Skylark as he pinned Checker Face's pallid, paling face with a smirk of his own.

"Now, if you don't believe me, perhaps, you could try your luck, sir. I'm sure Hibari-senpai would love to hear your arguments for relinquishing his property. Or are there other accusations you would like to hurl at my feet?"


	7. A Small Fish in a Killer Pond

**Authors Note:**

Well…this is weird. The story is finished. _**Seriously.**_ Okay, so standard disclaimer still applies which means none of these characters belong to me. The madness however is all mine and I gladly accept the blame.

This has been a wonderful, unbelievable rush. Even now as I write these words, I'm wondering where half of these things came from. This story just wrote itself. The dialogue kept nagging at me—even in the shower, mind you! They were just there, insisting that I write them down somewhere—in bits and pieces—until they finally stop clamoring and just grinned smugly down at me.

I do hope you enjoyed this craziness with me. Please leave me your words. You don't know how comments, sometimes makes the difference between continuing writing and simply letting an idea drift off and die.

My eternal thanks to all those that gave this story a chance. Those that found and read the first chapter and said: MAYBE. Hope it made you smile even for a moment—if I accomplished that, then thank you.

I wrote a very short epilogue at the end. I'm not quite sure whether I should post it separately but no matter what—it will be there. Sorry I couldn't do more. Til the next time, I will be working on "TIES…" I found something in it again and I am excited to write for it again. Wish me luck!

* * *

 **The Fish and The Mob**

 _Day 3:_ _ **A Small Fish in a Killer Pond**_

" ** _STATUS QUO_** : Latin for _'the mess we're in'_ "

 _Anonymous_

* * *

Tsuna could feel the entire room's attention but something inside of him had finally snapped and frankly he couldn't care less what his masked accuser would hurl at him next.

 _ **Because seriously—what else is there for me to be apprehensive about? He's been through the ringer and he's still breathing. That's a point on his favor no matter what anyone says.**_

He flashed a look at his clearly amused mentor and decided to just consign everything to hell in a hand basket. If the man could find something that would elicit a response from him, well kudos to him—he's certainly a persistent inconvenience.

For Tsuna however, each passing minute is just another moment for him to regain his strength. He could allow his mind to wander because clearly whatever passes for a job interview in this madhouse isn't something for him to take seriously and quite frankly he's in no frame of mind to do so. He's jet-lagged, he's tired, and he has been in country for nearly 48 hours and the only things he has seen so far are car interiors, lush rooms and people in black suits. It's enough to turn anyone to espouse the joy of living in a small obscure town, never mind finding a suitable rock and crawling underneath for the foreseeable future.

His gaze swept across the room and was reassured by the approving look of his friends and the total lack of fear in their eyes. Something inside him was oddly at peace and it gave him the necessary boost to sit back and let their latest abductors do their worse. Unless someone makes an attempt on his life or the life of his friends, he figures he is golden. He could just sit back and watch whatever madness his captors would concoct next.

After all, he has been kidnapped, taken by the cops, been served a fake warrant, told his phone calls were monitored by someone who doesn't even live in the same freaking continent never mind the same country, interrogated by a clumsy pair of cops that seemed to have forgotten the script on how to effectively carry out their demented 'bad cop – good cop' skit and then, if he wasn't just the luckiest bastard in the planet—he was yet again abducted by a bunch of sharply dressed drones that had nothing better to do than break into police stations and liberate a confused nearly-eighteen-year-old tourist.

And now, here he is, in an unknown location where he woke to the company of his sadistic tutor who gave him a sketchy idea of what he was about to face and reunited with his friends and professor, while being subjected to yet another interrogation with a masked clown that seemed to have taken pointers from those born during the witch hunt or the Spanish inquisition.

 _ **Next thing I know, this man would be showing me mug shots of criminals to determine my associates. It's like a really bad crime-drama written by someone who hasn't even heard of the 'Godfather'.**_

In the periphery of his vision, he could still make out the cold smirk that hovered at the corner of the temperamental Skylark's lips and the sight of it made him shiver. There was nothing cruel about the Skylark's smile—but there was something primal about the way he was eyeing the adults in black suits, especially the ones that were wrapped-up like a bunch of chain-draped, hat-wearing wanna-be mummies.

 _ **Anything that could make Hibari-senpai smile like that wasn't something anyone normal or weak-stomached should ever see—like ever.**_

It was certainly a testament to Tsuna's exasperation that he didn't even blink or pay any attention to the fact that no one sane would wear that much bandage and wrapping unless they were one—heavily wounded; two—have a bondage fetish that he didn't care to find out or three—they were part of some intimidation plot that fell on the wayside and no one ever informed them as far as fashion statements went—they were certainly as lost as a LSD-soaked Dorothy traipsing through a broken yellow brick road after Toto.

When another of those bandaged-mummy men approached Tsuna's stone-faced , clearly pissed-off Interrogator with a manila folder, something inside the man just lit up with wicked malice and it did more that shoot a bolt of dread down Tsunayoshi's spine—it tied his stomach in knots and he was dismayed to realize that he wasn't quite out of the woods yet.

 _ **Oh shoot. He got a second wind. I suppose the intermission is over and now act two is commencing.**_

* * *

The man beckoned Tsuna to approach the table where he was carefully laying down a small stack of eight-by-eleven inch white cards. A set of chairs were placed in front of the man's desk and Tsuna was uncomfortably reminded of meetings set up in the offices of the Principals of both his middle and high schools. The placement of the chairs, he was well aware, was deliberate—their intent to discomfort and dismay could be clearly discerned from the mocking tilt of the masked man's lips.

 _ **Well, that answers the question. He really hasn't seen the Godfather. There's no baseball bat. The mug-shot bet panned out though. Gods what a cliché.**_

The sly smirk that painted the man's thin cruel lips made Tsuna wonder warily if the man was planning to take a snipe at him and bite of a chunk of his vulnerable, idiotic hide when he got close enough.

 _ **Small price to pay if this madness would end. Then again I don't want to go through my life missing a few ounces of flesh or massive scarring. I'm not that vain but why add to my negatives, right? If that happens I might as well re-adapt that pathetic moniker Reborn still insists on calling me from time to time.**_

The sudden cascade of memories attached to his unfortunate middle school sobriquet flowed immediately to mind and he did everything he could not to flinch or give in to the urge to curl up on the floor and maybe just give in right there and then. His vacillation must've been so obvious that it stalled any movement on his part. He certainly must've hesitating longer than he had assumed because when he finally grew aware once more, he felt the firm pressure of his mentor's hand pushing him forward.

"What the hell are you doing you damn brat, standing there like you've suddenly been turned to a pillar of idiotic salt."

"Language."

"Language, my foot. Don't you take that tone with me or I will introduce you to _someone_ who _will_ give you a crash-course on what offensive language really could be you'd need a biohazard scrub before your ears will ever feel clean. Stop harping at me about my language because there will be times when judicious use of it could be accommodated. Now, stop embarrassing me and get a hold of yourself. Get a move on Dame-Tsuna. I don't plan on spending my entire night being interrogated by a stupid clown."

"Shush—! Don't you—"

Lifting a hand to adjust his signature fedora more comfortably on his head, before tilting it back to eye Tsuna for a second or two, before he cocked his brow imperiously at his clearly agitated student and smirked.

"I can say whatever I want brat, whenever I want and—" with a dismissive flick of his gaze and a sneer towards the masked man who was most certainly scowling at them now, "—most especially to _whomever_ I want. Believe me Dame-Tsuna I have earned that right. I'm old enough, strong enough, hell, I'm bored enough to do it just for kicks. And if this thing takes any more of my precious time I would beat up that clown, pullout his guts and tie it like a toy balloon animal and then I will chew your ass like there's no tomorrow for subjecting me to this utter stupidity."

"What?! Why are you blaming me? Dino-sensei organized this trip! All I signed up for was a bloody immersion program to practice using a bloody language."

"I know and don't you think that Idiot-Bronco is getting away with this. He should've dealt with all this mad fuss before he dragged you in here and now because of his utter idiocy other people would have to clean up after him. Trust me, I am monumentally pissed at the idiot that deemed himself aware enough to call himself your teacher."

"Look, I'm sure Dino-sensei never intended any of this to happen. I mean—seriously who ever goes around thinking ' _oh today my students might end up kidnapped so I better plan on ahead'_?" Tsuna paused for a beat at the look Reborn leveled his way, huffing in exasperation, "And no that only applies to you. No one else does contingency plans like you do, you paranoid sadist—other people react normally. We really can't blame him for that you know."

"You're getting to be more gusty aren't you brat?"

"I'm also getting a bit tired of this play, Sir."

Reborn grinned. "You're learning to banter. That's all this situation is good for. However, if you don't finish this blasted farce as soon as possible, I would make the climb Vesuvius the first chance I get and then I will make you swim the bloody Mediterranean, do you understand me? Now get your ass moving and deal with this!"

"Hiee! Y-yes Sir!"

"Done with your little lover's spat?"Mr. Checker Face sneered, the cunning look on his eyes incongruous against the indifference in his face.

Tsuna reeled as if stunned by the insinuation before gaping at the man in sheer disbelief. "What are you—six? Stop making such sordid insinuations! That man is old enough to be my father!"

"But he isn't." the masked man jeered before his curiosity seeped through. "Is he?"

Tsuna gazed at his masked interrogator with a look that definitively questioned the man's intellect, "I honestly have no idea and no I am not that much of an idiot as to actually risk my neck just to ask him such a stupid question."

"Why would such a question be stupid?" the man asked clearly perplexed.

Tsuna blinked. "Are you thick or something? Why would I ask a man as vain as him how old he is—that's like asking to be bitch-slapped from sunrise to sunset while dangling from the side of a cliff!"

Checker Faced smirked at Tsuna condescendingly. "You sure have an imagination Tsunayoshi. An amusing, if unfortunate gift, I am sure."

Tsuna blinked once more. "What do you mean imagination? I didn't imagine anything. He did all of that to me on my fifteenth birthday when I asked him if he was married!"

The man clearly had no idea what to make of Tsuna's latest _non-sequitur_ and decided to simply ignore the statement. He gestured towards his desk and allowed the young man and his erstwhile companion to gawk and stare at his evidence before he posed his question.

"Do you know that you have been associating with an individual that's been trained by the Triad?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Triad."

"What's a Triad? I don't even know what that is—I don't know what you mean."

"Do you know of a person called I-pin?"

"I-pin? What does she—look, she's just a young girl. She works in the same food shop I do, attends middle school in Namimori and lives in the same apartment building."

"I see. And you don't find that idea suspect?"

Tsuna stared at the cunning face in front of him and decided that he has played with grace long enough. His friends at least were around to defend themselves but not this—not this time. Not with a little girl who's sole fault seemed to be proximity to him.

"Sir, contrary to what you might've been led to believe—I am just a student living an even more mediocre existence. I have no idea what it is exactly that made me eligible for this job you insist on interviewing me for but I think you're quite mistaken in your assumptions regarding the people around me. I don't go around being suspicious about every single person that I come in contact with in the hopes that they're killers or assassins or mad interrogators!"

Checker Face simply sneered. "This child that you say simply shares your workplace and home—is known to be a very proficient assassin trained by the Triad."

He glared at the leering masked man. "As I previously stated, I don't know what you mean by Triad and I-pin couldn't possibly be an assassin! That's absurd! An assassin—what's your excuse this time—the fact that she's very flexible?!"

"I assure you Signor Sawada, my statements are far from ridiculous. For the record—we have watched her and she is very skilled."

Tsuna found his hands curling into fists and resisted the urge to bang them against the surface of the desk that contained the man's so-called evidence. "Then like the term dangerous, we seem to have reached another détente. Your definition is certainly one I cannot accept. Also—that's just disturbing learning that you stalk a teenage-girl. As for her skills I suppose you'll consider the fact that she's part of the gymnastics team as simply her cover for killing people?"

"I can see that even if I point that she is too young to achieve that level of skill—"

Tsuna glared at the man, "A person is allowed to be talented you know! That doesn't mean that she's been trained by your so-called Triad."

"Nothing so called about it. So, you won't care even if I tell you that the Triad refers to a very special organization?"

"An organization?" he scoffed. "That's who you think I-pin belongs to? A young girl, that works part-time in a diner to support her education?"

"The Triad, Signor Sawada, is what you might understand is the equivalent of the Mafia or the Yakuza of Japan." He grinned maliciously at Tsuna's skeptical look. "In short, the Triad, Signor Sawada, is a criminal organization from China."

"A criminal organization from China—look here! Just because I-pin is Chinese is no reason to suspect her of criminal behavior! _How dare you, you condescending judgmental racist!_ She is a lovely young girl who is working so hard to put herself through school and I will not stand here and let you slander her! How can you just stand her and accuse such a lovely person like that!"

"There is no slander when one speaks simply of the truth. That young girl you are so keen on defending has been trained since early childhood to become a weapon. All I'm saying—!"

This time when Tsuna spoke he didn't just speak—no, it was more Tsuna speaking than simply him saying words.

It wasn't often and he seldom used it or even fully cognizant when he does it but there has been instances since his middle years when he would tap into whatever core of strength he had and draw it out fully and harness into a kind of compelling aura that lent a kind of allure and command to his words.

" **Silence."**

"I will not be spoken to like some incompetent—!"

Checker Face sputtered in surprise and gaped at the young man that's now gazing at him with an unnervingly lambent pair of russet eyes that seemed to reflect the eerie gold of a dying sky.

" **There is no need for you to cast aspersions on a young woman who is not here to defend herself and her honor. The nature and means I-pin might have employed to secure a new life away from her past is not something for you to pass prurient judgment on. Do you understand me? This line of inquiry is finished and over with. Move on Checker Face."**

This time his voice wasn't just commanding. It was an implacable order and no one in the room could mistake it for anything else. The air seemed to thicken with every second the masked interrogator refused to acknowledge Tsuna's words. The room's occupant could feel tension seeping into their very pores, winding across their skin until it was all they could do not to give in to the need to check that there wasn't a physical noose slowly tightening around their necks.

Their discomfort would've escalated beyond tolerable levels but for the timely intervention of the silently amused tutor who cast an assessing glance at his quietly fuming student before reaching out to tap one of the young man's hands.

 _"Tsunayoshi."_

The call broke whatever spell was being woven around them and the tension snapped like an overly stretched thread. Tsunayoshi took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a few second as if to gather back whatever it was that his agitation sent out. When he opened his eyes, they were still the same lambent golden eyes but the fire that burned behind them has been banked.

"As I was saying Mr. Checker Face, please abstain from this line of questioning. I refuse to listen to you impugn upon a young lady's reputation and I will not stand for it. Please, move on."

Checker Face was now openly staring at Tsunayoshi and was disconcerted when the young man did nothing to dissuade his actions. The man was clearly itching to make demands but somehow he held back—perhaps the brief demonstration of Tsunayoshi's ire curbed some of his natural recklessness.

"I-i…fine."

Tsuna inclined his head graciously. "Thank you."

Reborn must've signaled to someone because no sooner than Tsuna could gather his shaky composure and Checker Face could regain his sarcastic, scathing nature an old man entered and offered Tsuna a cup of hot coffee. Murmuring a quiet 'thank you' to the solicitous black suited older man, Tsuna took a small sip of the hot brew and felt immediately relaxed. A quick look at Reborn confirmed that his erstwhile tutor shared his current level of quasi-comfort.

* * *

The masked man looked at Tsuna for another minute or two before looking away and shuffling the papers on his desk. He quickly reached out for another piece of foolscap, noted something on it to his satisfaction before murmuring nonchalantly just as Tsuna took another sip from his cup, "How much do you charge for harboring the Ranking Prince in your home?"

Tsuna gulping the piping hot liquid in surprise, burning his tongue and sending a shot of heat down to his cold, cramped stomach. Quickly mopping the small amount of liquid that seeped from the seam of his lips, Tsuna glared at Checker Face as he sputtered, " _ **What?!**_ What are you talking about?"

Checker Face gave him a condescending leer, " _The Ranking Prince_. You have him. There have been multiple sightings of him, in your company and in the company of your _'friends'_ —nearly all of them close to or at your residence."

Tsuna gave his cup a regretful look before setting it aside. He then glared at the smirking interrogator and argued internally with himself that there really is no positive outcome to giving in to the urge to beat the man within an inch of his masked life. The action would certainly vent his frustrations but the complications to his and his companions' current situation notwithstanding, the pain he would end up in wouldn't put his already tenuous temper in a better state.

"Look, sir, I don't know who you've been talking to or what you've read from those fraudulent reports of yours but I assure you, I don't have any prince—ranking or otherwise. The only one that lives with me occasionally is a young man a family friend asked me to take care off on the odd weekends that this friend of mine is unable to. He's a lovely young man and comfortably well off, to be sure. But he is hardly a prince even if he does have such lovely manners. I'm taking care of him until his parents come home from their trip abroad. That's the only boy I could think of—other than Lambo—with whom I have any constant contact with.

"Ah…Signor Sawada—why do you persist on these lies of yours?"

" _I DO NOT LIE."_ Tsuna gritted out glaring at the mocking tone in the masked man's voice. "I told you already I don't know any child called the Ranking Prince—!"

"He is also known by the name Fuuta Della Stella" Checker Face interjected gleefully, smirking when he noted the unmistakable surprise that bloomed on Tsuna's face. "Perhaps this time around you will tell me that you do know of such an individual?"

"Fuuta?" Tsuna muttered in confusion, "Fuuta—little Fuuta is your Ranking Prince?"

"Indeed he is, though not many are aware of his given name. He would, certainly, have been advised to not give it away so freely but those in the inner circles of most Famiglias know his famous moniker. That you— _a so-called normal university student_ —would know of this sensitive and rather remarkable detail lends credence to my belief that you—Tsunayoshi Sawada—are more than you appear to be."

Tsuna however was struck with a sudden surge of curiosity to ask for clarification. "Why do you call him that?"

"Call whom what?"

"Fuuta-kun. Why do you call him the Ranking Prince? Why not simply refer to him by his name? Why give him such a fanciful title?"

"Fanciful? Signor Sawada, do you think to mock us with this pathetic attempt at subterfuge?"

"Sir, that is the second time you have cast aspersions on my honor and I will not stand for a third, you hear me?"

"My apologies Signor Sawada. I did not intend to call into question your honor."

"Of course you have. And do not attempt to give me false apologies, sir. Believe me; I do not care for your accusations anymore than I care for your thinly veiled insults. I asked because I was sincerely curious. I do not go about associating with people that bears titles and sobriquets of confusing and frankly alarming natures."

"He is called the Ranking Prince because that's what he does. He creates rankings of things that offer the least as well as the most value; he rates situations from the most volatile to the most benign. He calculates and offers probabilities that may come to pass. But most of all, the Ranking Prince rates _people_ Signor Sawada. He rates and ranks the _importance_ and _value_ of people."

"That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard!"Tsuna exclaimed aloud, incensed with the very idea.

"Does he not tot around with him an unusually large, ornate book that he never lets out of his sight?"Checker Face retorted back with an infuriating leer.

"A large—you mean his surveys? Those random funny polls he keeps on writing about? Wait a minute—how did you know about his book? Have you been stalking a child!? A child that lives in another country—what sick person are you?!"

Checker Face snorted dismissively, "Don't give me those prudent nonsense Signor Sawada—"

"Prudent my left foot! You, sir are displaying every point of a suspected pedophile—watching a young child—accusing a young girl of the most absurd things—how could you?! And you being so overly interested in a young child's funny polls!"

The look on Checker Face was a sight to behold. "Survey? _Funny polls_? Is that what you think they are? Just funny stupid _polls_?!" he nearly screamed in apoplectic fit.

"What else was I to think? Fuuta was about eight or nine when he first showed them to me. He was a child! What else would a sane individual think—that this kid is ranking people because a dark, secretive criminal organization might find his doodling of utmost importance?"

"You—you were given express permission by the Ranking Prince to view his book?" the man stared incredulously, gaping at Tsuna who stared back at him in a similar state of bewilderment.

"Well, yes. I don't know what's the big deal about that—! Wait—is that all you heard from what I said?"

Checker Face stared at Tsunayoshi in appalled skepticism, "You don't know—! Don't you know anything about them at all? Hasn't he shown you the contents of his book? Any of it?"

"He tried to show me—I only ever glimpsed at some pages that he insisted on showing me but I didn't pay it any mind—! What?"

"' _You didn't pay it any mind'_? You didn't care to find out the contents of the most sought after book in all of the Underworld?" the man nearly screeched in outrage and Tsuna could only blink in abject puzzlement.

"Why should I care for the contents of a child's prized possession? Fuuta loves that book and I was honored and happy that he wanted to show it to me but I had no need to obsess over it. It was his and it was enough that he felt the need to share it. I told him it was nice that he was generous enough to know how to share."

"Generous?" Checker Faced laughed in disbelief being, "Is that all you can say about being offered the chance to see that book? The _most_ powerful and influential source of information in the whole Underworld?"

"Look Mister Mask, maybe from where you came from that's how you see his book in your mind, but when I am with Fuuta, neither his possessions nor his book is any of my concern. All I ever have to care about is making sure that he is well, fed and warm and that cleans up his room. I really can't figure out how such a neat boy could make such immense messes when left to his own devices." Tsuna murmured recalling the constant mess that he had had to remind the boy to attend to every so often.

"That's because he levitates everything around him whenever he makes his rankings."the masked inquisitor deadpanned.

" _L-levitate?!_ That's—that's absolutely preposterous! And you have the _gall_ to accuse me of being _delusional_ over my friends' skills and whatnot. Seriously sir, this madness has gone far enough. Please—whatever you think you are doing here—whatever this interview is—it is over."

* * *

Tsuna waved a dismissive hand and started to rise from his seat when he felt the restraining hand of mentor and Tsuna found himself settling back into his seat. The masked man simply sighed at Tsunayoshi's action and rubbed his hands together, staring at them thoughtfully as he considered his next course of action. Clearly he was unsatisfied with the results of his inquiry but as he has proven himself immune to Tsunayoshi's logic, so too has Tsunayoshi proven to be immune to his sarcasm and veiled—if at times, outright—threats and entreaties.

Checker Face stared at the impassive face of the young man that sat in front of him before transferring his piercing glare towards the man whose hand was still holding on to the young man's wrist. Checker Face gestured at Tsunayoshi absently, his voice contemplative.

"Your blatant ignorance is both alarming and amusing Sawada Tsunayoshi that I wonder if you are doing it deliberately."

"Couldn't you go through any statement without working in an insult through it? Tsuna sniped back glaring at the man.

"How are you connected with the Bucking Bronco?"

"Who?"

"Dino Cavallone, Tenth Boss of the Cavallone Famiglia. The man that brought you here to the Old Country in his family's private jet. That Dino Cavallone."

"You mean Dino-sensei—?"

"Yes, him. What is the nature of your association with him?"

"He's our Italian professor for our Language Elective course."

"Dino Cavallone is your teacher?" Checker Face stole a glance at the grinning blonde in the far corner of the room and Tsuna followed his gaze before nodding.

"Yes. Him. Clumsy as a new-born foal unless Romario is around, goofy as a child on sugar-high, blond-haired, brown-eyed Dino-sensei. _Him._ That's what he is. A teacher and a friend and I suppose pseudo older brother too."

" _ **Thanks a bunch little bro!"**_

Tsuna grinned at his teary-eyed teacher and gave him a short wave before he noticed that now his masked interrogator was focused on his silent mentor. Observing the man's stare and his tutor's indifferent nonchalance made Tsuna sigh before breaking the quickly growing air of aggression.

"Will you please stop staring at my tutor? He dislikes being scrutinized by strangers."

A haughty brow was cocked and the voice fairly dripped with sarcasm when it was cast Tsunayoshi's way.

"Is that so? And how would you know such a thing Sawada Tsunayoshi?"

Tsuna scoffed, "I know because I know him. Now please, stop it."

"You know him…that's a first. Tell me—do you really know him Sawada Tsunayoshi? Do you truly know the man that sits at your side and holds on to you so complacently? Do you really—truly, actually know the man that you keep near you?"

Tsuna cast a despairing look heavenwards, groaning in exasperation, "Oh for the love of the gods not this—are you really—you're clutching at straws aren't you?"

"You did nothing to answer my questions Sawada Tsunayoshi."

"That's because what you're doing doesn't make sense!" Tsuna shouted. "What you have done—all you have been doing since this farce of an interview started was to pick apart my friendships, hurl accusations on defenseless teenagers whose sins seem to be solely based on their association or proximity to myself and now—now you're trying to put doubt in my mind regarding the man that's sitting beside me and I am telling you right now that I have had it!"

Tsuna was nearly growling in temper, his eyes fiery and piercing as he glared at Checker Face with the kind of intensity that might make anyone retreat.

Checker Face stole another assessing glance at Tsunayoshi before turning his gaze back towards the silent, fedora-wearing man that sat languidly on the chair in front of him, indifferent it would seem to the tension and the threat of violence that's about to break out around him.

"Answer the question Sawada Tsunayoshi."

"Look, I don't know what you've researched or hunted or found out about him—"

"Do you know—with absolute certainty—the man that you keep trustingly beside you?"

Something in Checker Face's voice must've touched something inside Tsuna and the room—that has been holding its collective breath ever since Tsuna started losing his composure—watched as the young man slowly and steadily gathered his control back and settle it under his firm control once more.

Tsuna closed his eyes, willing the heat in them to fade alongside the burning inferno that's racing through his veins, wrestling his anger and resentment and frustration back to more manageable levels. He took a deep breath and then another and another until he could draw a breath deep enough without feeling like he was about to explode. Opening his eyes, he drew another deep breath before slowly releasing it through pursed lips. His gaze when it rose up to meet with his masked interrogator was placid and calm as the golden seas during windless days. Nothing but tranquility and stillness were reflected on the lambent, citrine-hued eyes.

" **I know enough**. **He is my mentor, my tutor. He is the man that aided in exploring and discovering my strengths and curing me of my glaring weaknesses. I know enough about him. I don't need to know everything. "**

"Don't you even care that he's known for his expertise in killing people? That is considered to be the best hitman in the world and what that means in terms of collateral damage in human lives? Do you not care?"

Tsuna actually snickered at the man, much to the man's outrage. "Look sir, I don't think YOU know him. He's been my tutor for nearly four years—that's four years I have spent being given the personal, in-depth, in your face because you have no other option tour of the seven levels of hell on earth. The man is a sadistic, controlling, ego-maniacal overlord the world should be thankful is too lazy to dominate it for kicks."

"What the—you stupid fool! Is that what you care about? Do you not even realize that he has been a hired gun long before you were born—selling his skills to the highest bidder? That your blessed tutor and mentor is nothing more than a killer for hire and that he has lived with that reputation for far longer than you have been alive?That he has allowed himself to be cursed to be powerful? That he traded everything for power and near-immortality? Do you care nothing for all of that?"

Tsuna looked at Checker Face's enraged face and shook his head slowly in the face of the masked man's livid state.

" **Whatever he is—whatever reputation or past you think you this revelation would do to me—it won't work. There is nothing in this world that would not make me turn away from him.** _ **Nothing**_ **. Do you understand what that means Checker Face? He told me all of that already. And I already told him years ago that he didn't have to tell me anything he didn't have to."**

Checker Face glowered at Tsunayoshi in derision, "You are _a fool_ Sawada Tsunayoshi."

Tsuna smiled and gave the man a single nod. "I know. He tells me that nearly single day."

* * *

Whatever Checker Face would've said then and whatever response Tsuna would've made no one else would know because at that moment the heavy double doors that led to the room were opened with a bang that echoed all around and a cavalcade of black suited figures came pouring in forming a perimeter around Tsunayoshi and the small tribunal. A moment later, a tall imposing figure, light haired, sharp-eyed and suited to the hilt strode in and as one two voices rang out:

" **WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!"**

The two former combatants—interrogator and accused—stared at each other before turning once more to the newcomer who was staring at them with the most incongruous sheepish look one could ever imagine on a full-grown man's face.

"Ah Tsuna! Checker Face?"

" **I LEFT A MESSAGE ON YOUR/MY MOTHER'S PHONE NEARLY 12 HOURS AGO! WHY THE FUCK/HELL ARE YOU LATE!"**

Checker Face leaned over his desk to glare at Tsunayoshi, growling at him threateningly, "Stop mimicking me you foolish child! I am trying to rip this idiot another ass and you are getting in the way!"

Tsuna glared at the masked figure before turning his basilisk-like glare towards the now pale-faced man who tried to speak to him.

"Me? I'm not—you're the one interrupting me!"

"Tsuna—!"

"This man needs to answer for his neglect of his duties—!"

"And he needs to answer for more than just dereliction of duties—if you need to make him accountable for something like that—then he needs to be accountable for fifteen years of neglect in my case!"

"Tsuna—my dearest darling—how can you say such things!"

"Don't you talk to me like that you overgrown baby! Don't you dare give me another one of your lame-ass excuses that only someone as innocent and trusting as my mother would ever believe! Where the hell have you been you bloody bastard?!"

"Tsuna—I'm sorry—I!"

Checker Face couldn't contain his ire any longer and he banged his hand against his desk violently. "Sawada Tsunayoshi! What is the name of the Underworld is the meaning of this! What is the nature of your association with this man for you to make such demands! Don't you know who this is?"

Tsuna didn't bother to spare the whimpering , teary-eyed man that was now clinging to him a moment's look as he was too preoccupied trying to pry the said man's tentacle like arms from his lithe frame. "I know exactly who this idiot is—but given the fact that you have such skewed belief about everyone else around me you might as well tell me who you think he is?"

Checke Face couldn't for the life of him what possessed the older man to cling to the young man that he has been thus tasked to interrogate but he felt it imperative that said child understand that the person next to him was someone important.

"If you must know that man is the Head of the _Consulenza Esterna Della Famiglia._ He is known throughout the Underworld as the Young Lion of the Vongola."

Tsuna stared impassively at Checker Face, his face not giving anything away as he resolutely turned his gaze away from the man who was still frantically whimpering explanations at his side.

"Is he important?"

The masked man threw his hands in exasperation over the younger's clear ignorance. "Of course he's bloody important! He occupies a standing equal to the current Vongola Nono—Head of most powerful Famiglia in the world! Now, answer the damn question—what the hell is he to you then?"

Tsuna pursed his lips in irritation before gesturing a thumb towards the man that's been casting him dejected looks ever since his arrival.

"Well, it just so happens this very important man of yours is my bloody annoying Father."


	8. A Tuna Learns to Swim

**Authors Note:**

I suppose I should explain. I guess this isn't an epilogue but rather the true ending. Not that the previous chapter wouldn't work as one. If you prefer cliff-hangers and open-ended stories—well, that might work right?

It was supposed to be short. But it sort of got away from me and well this is the result.

Oh well. Fine. Here is the ending. Truly. Promise. I swear. _Or not._

* * *

 **The Fish and The Mob**

 _ **A Tuna Learns to Swim**_

 _God wisely designed the human body so that we can_ _neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily._

 _Anonymous_

* * *

 _Now, if you can dare imagine the Fates being kind and benevolent, then the story of that young man who went on a less than usual adventure in that small country in the west would've simply ended on a more cheerful note. He would've been safely whisked away to a beautiful villa where he spent the remainder of his summer in frolic and play—forgetting slowly, day by the day the trauma of his unfortunate encounter until it fades into the realms of forgotten and barely remembered dreams, recalled only as a faint, lingering sense of déjà vu._

 _Now, that being said—as I mentioned—will only be applicable if the Fates were in a friendly, compassionate kind of mood. Unfortunately for our intrepid protagonist—the fates were a bunch of hormonal, PMS-ing bitches that never allowed a chance for hilarity to escape them._

* * *

" _ **What the fucking hell is this? Tsuna—get in here! We have another fucking bunch of fucking weirdos looking for your fucking arse!"**_

If his ears could run away in protest Tsunayoshi was certain his would've thumbed it off his face and he would've joined them immediately. True to his word, his sadistic mentor did find someone to _'immunize'_ his ears to the foul nature of coarse language so that he could build a suitable resistance. Reborn was a graduate of the school of ' _Anything-that-could-weaken-you-should-be-dealt-with-Impunity'_ so there was no way Tsuna would go through life flinching and losing his temper every time someone with a foul mouth comes within close proximity.

He gave Tsuna into the keeping of his close pal who used to be in the army and retained his extremely salty language with flair just like he got out of recruitment camp yesterday. Colonello-Taichou ran the diner that Tsuna and I-pin worked in and the man certainly loved cussing. Perhaps love was a weak term—but somehow Tsuna couldn't find any word strong enough to explain Colonello-Taichou accurately.

Tsuna and I-pin, once on a dare, counted the number of times the man cursed in the span of an entire work shift. They ran out of paper before the man ran out of things to say and that was just before they took their mid-shift break.

"Tsuna get your fucking butt in here boy!"

"You want me, Taichou?"

The blond man clapped a hand against Tsuna's back and he wondered if it was really possible to cough out a lung. Taichou was just a bit younger than his tutor but was the bloody mouthy older man shockingly strong.

"There you are lad! About fucking time! There are some suspicious bozos lurking in Table 4 again. They've been making a fucking racket and pretty soon they'll drive all our fucking customers away so why don't you mosey on over there and find out what the fuck they want alright?"

Tsuna sighed in resignation. This has been the sixth 'visit' he's had since coming home from his 'summer vacation'. It was getting to be so often that there were changes that were erected in his home and workplace. "Yes Taichou."

"Good lad." Colonello thumped Tsuna once more on his shoulder before walking back towards the kitchen. "Get them to talk to you all civil like and order something from the fucking menu or get them the fuck out there, then."

"Yes Taichou." Tsuna gave his boss another nod but his eyes were now on the group that 'invited' themselves into the diner. He gazed at the group—nearly a full dozen—men ranging in age from early twenties to late thirties, clad in cheap suit jackets and silk shirts, sporting gaudy jewelry and facial piercings.

 _ **Certainly not Old Country thug then. Wonder what affiliation they belong to?**_ he quietly mused as he noted the agitated state of the men. It didn't take them long before the leader stepped up and spoke belligerently to the gazing young man.

"Are you the one they call Vongola?"

"No, I'm the one they call Sawada"he quipped simply. He noted the bulging veins on the spokesperson's massive neck and pitied his doctors. The man isn't likely the type to listen to healthy advice.

"Are you fucking kidding me punk?"the man growled petulantly, cracking his knuckles as he leered at Tsuna.

Tsuna gave in to the urge to sigh. _**Really. Clichés are so annoying.**_

"If I were, I wouldn't be telling you now, would I? "And hey-hey! You!" Tsuna's eyes widened in alarm when he noted the flash of a switch knife being pulled out by most of the men that accompanied the talking hippopotamus in silk. He immediately made a short piercing whistle before turning back to the gathered thugs. "You there! Put that thing away! Haven't you read the sign posted by the door?" Tsuna gestured to the small twelve by twelve inch plank that was attached just at the entrance of the diner glaring at the smirking goons. "Weapons are not allowed in here! Kids come here to eat all the time and the Taichou would kill me if we lose customers."

The hippopotamus must have decided that being proactive might bring him more results so he reached out and snagged a corner of Tsuna's apron, shaking it like a wayward, overweight pink pit-bull as he growled out his demands.

"I don't care what your fucking Taichou said or whatever stupid fucking rules you posted by the door. I ain't interested in any of that. All I want to know is where and who the hell is the fucking Decimo. So if you don't want me to rearrange your face you'd better start singing like a canary you fucking punk!"

"Look, sirs, I think you better leave. You're making our patrons very agitated and uncomfortable. Please sir."

"Are you being stupid or something kid? Don't you know who we are? We are the Testa—!"

"I don't care who you are—I-pin-chan!"

"I'm on it Tsuna-nii."

Tsuna leaned his head back casually as a bright blur swung past him and a sharp thwack echoed around the room. Eyes swung as one towards the head of the erstwhile leader where a steak knife was still quivering not more than a few centimeters way from his head. Tsuna tossed a smile towards the young girl who casually walked towards them and plucked the still vibrating steak knife from one of the diner's wooden posts.

"Tsuna-nii told you—no weapons. You want answers, you stay and you be quiet. You _understand_ Dishonorable Customer?"

The hippopotamus-pit-bull hybrid found himself nodding as a tiny middle-school girl pocketed the steak knife and proceeded to bus a recently vacated table. Tsuna took the opportunity presented to him to seize the situation and steer it towards a more decisive and favorable conclusion.

"Now you listen to me you bunch of cerebrally-challenged brutes, my boss takes a real dim view of people who fight in his shop. And by dim, I mean the man carries an AK-47 as part of his regular uniform and uses grenades as accessories. We never pass through anything that has magnets because for sure we would be stuck there for hours while they call the Ministry of Defense to find out where we unearthed him." He raised a hand and gestured towards the slight figure that's now bus rearranging a vase with fresh cut flowers—the knife that was still prominently in the groups mind now employed in trimming leaves and thorns. "That right there is I-pin. She works here too and she really doesn't like missing out work or having rowdy customers in the diner since she studies here too. You saw here pin that knife above your head like threading a needle from ten feet away—and that's without looking directly at you. Imagine what she can do if she is motivated or pissed off enough. Do you understand what I'm saying here guys?"

The rotund leader's cheeks quivered as he groused petulantly, "I ain't afraid of no stinking little girl!"

"Then you're a bloody idiot."

Tsuna clucked like a disappointed hen before pulling out his mobile phone. He didn't want to have to resort to violence but the man was warned—twice. The matter is now officially out of his hands. Time to bring in the cavalry then. He gestured towards his phone and displayed the number he was about to call.

"Look, if you do anything to disturb the piece here, I guarantee you that would be the last thing your group will ever do. If you persist on being a right pest I will call Hibari-senpai and then you will be his problem. Do you understand what will happen to you when I do that?"

The ruddy complexion on the man's face drained quicker than meat marinading in vinegar. The thick lips flapped uselessly as the man's eyes bulged in unmistakable dread. The man's minion seemed to grasp the situation fairly quickly as well as they all nodded in immediate agreement. Tsuna gave them a slight nod before waving a hand towards the thin stacks of paper in a nearby caddy.

"Good. Now, do me and everyone else a favor. Take a seat and order something. You don't buy anything you can't stay, _capiche_? And just for the record—no one here is called Decimo. AT least not yet. Now shut up and buy something and eat."

* * *

Tsuna didn't stay to see if the men would comply. Since he started defaulting towards dropping the Skylark's name as a possible means of enforcing the rules, thus far no one has been foolish enough to challenge the man's mettle and Tsuna prays daily that no one ever would. He doubts any of the challengers would live to see another day.

"Another set of goons came to see me today GrandPa. I mean—did you guys send out a memo through the Underworld grapevine or something? Seriously, its causing problems here at the diner and even if I know that Colonello-Taichou doesn't mind—there are innocent bystanders here and I don't want to risk them."

A smooth gentle laugh greeted Tsunayoshi's softly spoken rant and he found himself unconsciously relaxing. Being confronted by strangers demanding one thing or another has been taking a toll on his self-control but conversing with the Nono always soothed something inside of him.

" _ **Oh mio caro bambino**_ **, how amusing your days have become then. How have you been dealing with your daily woes then,** _ **Il mio fiammella?"**_

Tsuna couldn't help but groan at the endearment. "GrandPa please—don't give me any more nicknames. Your men already call me things—soon they'll be inventing even weirder labels than those that Reborn bears."

" **Oh? Do tell me what they say. What do the men in our family call you when I am not around Decimo?"**

Tsuna rolled his eyes in resignation as he mumbled, " _L'erede giovanile_."

The sound of the old man's laughter echoed through the phonelines and Tsuna couldn't help the smile that bloomed on the corner of lips as well. It was patently ridiculous how the simplest things made such a powerful man laugh and smile.

When the old man spoke, there was a melancholic quality to the wizened voice…a gravity that lent a depth to his simply worded thoughts.

" _ **Ma, che è perfetto**_ **! You most certainly are a youthful heir, Decimo. You most certainly are. You will bring new blood eh—** _ **nuova linfa**_ **—new life, do you understand,** _ **mio caro**_ **? Once you are Decimo—the Vongola will walk with pride once more…you will bring us** _ **nuovo inizio—**_ **a new start."**

Tsuna couldn't help but blush at the old man's praise and though he knows well enough that he couldn't be seen—something tells him the old man knows that he is flustered. When the old man chuckled in his ear once more, he grew more certain of the fact. He was about to move the conversation along when the Nono declared:

" **My son is coming to see you."**

The statement rattled in his brain and for a moment Tsunayoshi lost his equilibrium. He struggled to gain his footing once more and sputtered at the old man, " _ **Your son?!**_ Old man—if you have a kid—then why the hell did you drag my ass into your crazy rabbit-hole to take over your migraine-inducing job?" A thought then surfaced in his mind and immediately he had to ask, "Oh dear gods—does he hate me for taking something that should be his?"

" **Of course not."**

"Why couldn't you make him take it? Couldn't you have done what every nepotistic asshole has done since time immemorial and bequeathed your mad office to your kid?"

" **Wish I could do that, I'm sure you would've wanted such a resolution but alas, our Famiglia has strict—very strict, perhaps I should say extremely rigid and exacting specifications for who would be eligible in inheriting the position of Head of the Family. Besides, I am sure you are already quite certain of your position in the matter, right?"**

"Whatever gave you that idea? What in god's name did I do to make you think that? But you still haven't answered me Old Man—why couldn't your kid do this job? Didn't he want it?"

" **Certainly he was willing to take over had there been no other candidate but he is well aware that being adopted excluded him from immediate consideration. One of those conditions I mentioned states that only a blood-relative might inherit and so lucky for us, you are a direct descendant."**

"Adopt—your son is adopted?"

" **Yes."**

"Why did you?"

" **Because it was the right thing to do. And because I have lost all my sons."**

"Sons? GrandPa you—you've lost more than one?" Tsuna murmured quietly, knowing how much pain a death could be for someone let alone more than that. Hayato has never gotten over the death of his beloved mother. He couldn't fathom the pain that Nono must've born with the loss of all his blood-children.

" **Well, I used to have children—three blood-related ones but unfortunately…tragically they all passed on. My fourth son—he is the fourth in order, is the adopted one. Yes well as I was saying, he is on his way there. He came close to do a job and he is en route to pay his respects. I hope that the two of you will grow close and work well together."**

Tsuna smiled gently and his tone softened instinctively as he tried to inject some levity into the strangely sorrowful pause that bloomed between him and the old man.

"Sure, I can do that GrandPa. Can you tell me anything about him? His name? What he looks like?"

 **This time the old man's voice was once again jovial, "Ah well, you won't miss him—him and the people he hangs out with are impossible to miss—kinda like the opposite of your merry band of men—and his name is Xan—BEEP!"**

* * *

He wasn't even aware that he cut the call abruptly. Tsunayoshi's sole focus was on the group of men that strode into the diner with wild feral grace. Half a minute passed and the entire diner was empty save for the taichou, I-pin, Tsunayoshi and his unwanted guests.

The leader of the men need no introduction—there was no fear of his right to be in command being questioned or challenged. His men arrayed themselves around him like lounging wolves just waiting for the signal to start the hunt.

The man himself stalked towards Tsunayoshi with unmistakable intent. When he was close enough for Tsunayoshi to feel his body heat, he open thin pale lips and a voice that seemed to come from the very depths of the night issued forth growling his dominance and power.

" _ **Sawada Tsunayoshi. I found you at last."**_

Tsuna gulped and tried to muster his resolve. He was at least on familiar territory and he refused to yield and be intimidated. Squaring his shoulders, he lifted his chin and stared right back into crimson-hued orbs. "Xanxus. To what do I owe the questionable pleasure of your company?"

Xanxus stepped another pace closer and lifted a hand to brush a lock of hair away from Tsuna's forehead. "I am the Leader of Varia. I am here to pay my respect to the Vongola Decimo what else? And inform him of my intent to fulfill my sworn duties."

Tsuna blinked. "What?"

Xanxus allowed himself to chuckle at the delightful picture of confusion the young heir made. With a flick of his hand, a big chair was brough forward and Tsuna wondered briefly where they got it when he recognized it as the same chair that he saw in the penthouse suite of the hotel where he had been taken.

 _ **Huh. Guess he brings his own throne. Who knew?**_

Gathering his wayward thoughts, Tsuna tried to formulate a more suitable response for this unexpected turn of event—well other than giving in to the desire to wail in despair that is.

"As I was saying, I am the Head of the Varia—the Vongola Assassination Group. These are my men. You will know of them more during your Inheritance Ceremony."

This time Tsuna made no plans to control his panic. He gave his emotions _carte blanche_ and simply sat back to watch the resulting train wreck.

"What?! You're the—assassination group?!"he shrieked.

Xanxus merely smirked at the vocal display of the young heir. He found to his utter amusement, that anything and everything the lithe young man seemed oddly alluring. "Indeed. But that's not the best thing."

Tsuna stared at Xanxus with a confusing mix of apprehension and hope in his russet eyes. "There's a best thing here?

Xanxus nodded, giving the young man a reassuring smile. _Well—what he thought as reassuring at least._ He did wonder afterwards why the young Decimo paled even more after his offer of encouragement.

"Of course. The Varia also acts as unofficial security detail for Head of the Vongola Famiglia. We are the Vongola's Shadow Squad."

"S-security d-detail?! S-s-shadow—!"

"Yes. What it means, Tsunayoshi—is that you and I will be in close, constant, company. You will never be able to run away from me ever again."

* * *

Tsuna never punched a series of numbers so fast in his entire life before.

 **"I take it back. The Old Man can have this family business back. I don't think this is a career option for me. He can have my father. He can keep him. I will not even convince my mother to divorce him. Tell him he can have my idiot father and to let him keep that job that he wants so badly. I quit—I am resigning. Do you understand I can't do this job!"**

 _"I can't do that Dame-Tsuna. You didn't deny them when they made that announcement after your job interview, remember? As far as the Underworld is concerned the decision has been made. There's no backing out of this now."_

Reborn's smooth cool tones flowed through the phone lines like fine wine and Tsuna wished in the depths of his heart that he had a vat of spirits to drown his smug, obviously smirking mentor.

 **"You are not listening to me—I cannot do this job if being head of this Famiglia means I will have Xanxus and his merry band of mad men as my security detail. He will frighten off everyone I know—well perhaps not everyone—and I don't really want to think of what might happen if he and Hibari-senpai cross paths.** "

Reborn merely tutted in gentle reprimand. _"I have no doubt he would take pleasure in it. I assure you, your fierce Skylark would benefit from it as well. He would revel in the challenge."_

Tsuna nearly wept in frustration as his hands tightened convulsively on his mobile, the fragile plastic and metal groaning from the strain.

 **"I didn't know the entire goal of my existence was to provide avenues of violence for Hibari-senpai. That aside—that's not the point I'm trying to make here Reborn! This is my life—no, worse than that it is my virtue on the line! The Old Man's demented son is acting possessive over me and with the kind of friends I have—things would only end up one way—in massive loss of limbs, life and bloodshed. I will not be responsible to leveling an entire town just to pacify the lunatics that I have in my life!"**

" _I do understand you concern and I do sympathize with the colorful, rambunctious bunch you have collected over the years but the matter stands—your Inheritance Ceremony is already in the works. There is no backing out now."_

Tsuna sputtered in shock. **"That's impossible—! You told me yourself that the Inheritance Ceremony will take place on my 21st birthday and I just turned 18 last week! I have three years left! Do you hear me—three years! You have three years left to find someone else—train some other poor soul or convince the Old Man's son that he is the best man to take on the job!"**

" _Sadly that's not possible anymore Tsunayoshi—the invitation has been sent out already. And we couldn't possibly cause an international incident by offending every Famiglia in the world by withdrawing our invitations. It would be unseemly and moreover terribly rude!"_

Tsuna heard the tell-tale sound of paper being shuffled around and he nearly hurled his phone but saner minds prevailed and he tried once more to muster enough composure and guts to see things through. _He simply cannot give in. His life was on the line!_

" _ **Rude?!**_ **You're concerned about offending a bunch of sanctimonious, crusty organizations that I personally and quite frankly don't even want to know about but you don't care that I want to call it quits because you keep dismissing things that drive me crazy. And by the way—what is the deal with the over-the-top invitations? My supposed-Inheritance Ceremony isn't for another three years! You're sending them out way too early!"**

 _"Actually, we're kind of late already. This kind of ceremony takes time. And speaking of time-you need to get back on schedule and deal with those ruffians. If the Varia intervenes, I fear the damage might grow quite substantial. Honestly—can't they figure out these things for themselves?"_

Tsuna sobbed in frustration and wished he never—ever heard the word 'Italy'.

" **I cannot keep apologizing to Hibari-senpai. Soon enough, if I'm unlucky he might demand my first-born as payment—with my luck he just might demand my life. Gods so help me—if I see another one of these bozos coming in here I will be demanding that my idiot sire do something about it."**

" _Yes. Well, I didn't advice you to do so. I'm sure you can persuade him to assist you in this matter. That is broadly speaking part of his function as head of CEDEF."_

The statement short-circuited Tsuna's mind for a full minute. _Was it possible? Was there hope in the offing?_

 **"What? Reborn, what did you say?"**

" _Well, among the responsibilities and privileges of the Famiglia Head is that he could avail the services and counsel of the CEDEF especially with matters that have no direct bearing with the running of the Famiglia. They are, after all, an impartial party and designated as such but they are still part of the structure of our organization."_

 **" _And the Varia?"_ ** he whimpered in supplication.

" _The Varia was created to deal with matters too sordid or complicated for any legal means to address. Sad to say, even during these enlightened times, some things can only be resolved through the judicious displays of strength. They also function, among their varied duties, as additional and secret security for the Head. They are the ones tasked with preventing hostile take-overs and assassination attempts since they are immensely and uniquely qualified for such tasks."_

 **"So, let me get this straight—if I take the job I can fire my father or retire his annoying ass, make him stay with my mother until he is decrepit and hopefully less annoying and deal with all the other extraneous matters that pertain to being with the Famiglia and have him be my official liaison to the Varia so that I never have to deal with them ever again or unless I desperately have to?"**

" _Absolutely. You are the heir to the Famiglia. Once you have gone through the Inheritance Ceremony and become Vongola Decimo—they will all be under your command."_ The smug tones of Reborn's voice was practically a living entity emerging from the construct of plastic and thin metal chips.

Tsuna closed his eyes and gave himself a short, sharp nod.

 **"Fine. I'm taking the job."**

" _Good. I knew you would."_

 **"And when I'm the boss, I will really fire your ass as my tutor, Reborn."** Tsuna groused, already anticipating the migraine coming ahead.

" _Better yet, I'll do you a favor and resign, deal?"_

 **"Deal. But you _will_ stay with me, right?"**

" _Of course, Idiot-Tsuna. Just try to get rid of me and you'll see all the levels of hell I could put you through."_

 **"Well, that's reassuring."**

" _Can't have a dame-tuna swimming in dangerous waters, now could I?"_

 **"That's a really mean thing to say Reborn."**

" _I know. That's why I said it. No one else would."_

 **"You really think I could do this Reborn?"**

 _"You willing to work at it?"_

 **"Of course."**

" _Then you'll be fine. Trust me."_

 **"Okay. I suppose that's it then."**

" _Yes. Don't worry, you can't fail. Now say it. You have to say it to yourself so that you can get over the shock and fear you still carry with you."_

 **"Do I have to?"** Tsuna whined even as he knew he was simply stalling.

" _Just do it Dame-Tsuna. I don't have all day."_

 **"Of course you do. You have all the coming days."**

" _So make them count. Spit it out brat."_

 **"Fine."** Tsuna took a deep breath and murmured hurried. **_"My name is Sawada Tsunayoshi and I am going to be a Mob Boss!"_**

" _You suck. That's a lousy introduction."_

 **"Hey!"**

 _"That's no good. Try again."_

 **"Fine."**

" _You sure about it this time."_

 **"Yes."**

" _Go on then. Let me be the first one to hear it properly."_

 **"Hello. My name is Sawada Tsunayoshi. I am Vongola Decimo."**

 _"Good. That will do, Little Tuna. That will do."_

 *****OWARI*****


End file.
